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Hand hold while I wait for the crisis team?

(18 Posts)
dontrunwithscissors Sat 25-Jul-15 17:32:55

Sorry, but I just need to put this down somewhere. I hate waiting for the crisis team to come.

My CPN referred me to them yesterday because my mood has dropped again. I was only discharged from hospital 7 weeks ago after a psychotic depressive episode. I was doing well and thought I might actually get a break from all this bipolar shit. But no.

The crisis team came out this morning and are coming back at 6pm. I'm not sure why they wanted to visit twice today.

We were supposed to be going down South to visit both sets of parents today. The DCs are upset but are assuming (as is everyone else) that we'll be going down tomorrow. DH is usually so good and patient with me, but even he seems pissed off that I'm going to spoil our plans yet again.

I feel like I'm just going to have to grit my teeth and follow through with our plans. I don't know how I'll manage 6 hours travelling-I'm so agitated and struggling to sit still at time. I'll just have to lean on my friend 'diazepam.'

Sorry, there's no real point to this post. I'm just so fed up of going around in circles. Managing the bipolar seems like a full time job and I'm bored of constantly having to think about how I'm feeling and sleeping. I've been under the crisis team 9 or 10 times in the last 18 months, 3 admissions, 2 suicide attempts, and 4 months on sick leave. I'm starting to conclude that, sooner or later, the bipolar will win.

LizzieVereker Sat 25-Jul-15 17:49:41

Hi love - don't be too hard on yourself- you can't help feeling poorly. I expect your DH isn't annoyed with you, just trying to manage your DC's and other relatives' expectations of your visit.

My Dad had bipolar, so I understand what you mean about the agitation, it sucks. I'm really sorry you're feeling so unwell, and hope the Crisis team arrive soon.

Do you want to chat or play a word game while you're waiting? We could do 20 questions, or I'm watching "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC if you want to chat about it? thanks

dontrunwithscissors Sat 25-Jul-15 18:24:54

Thanks for replying. For once, they turned up early. They're quite good and it helps to get things out.

I'm going to have to pull myself together and make it down to Yorkshire. We were supposed to spend Xmas down there, but I was in hospital. DH's parents haven't seen the kids for almost a year so I have to manage somehow.

Wheretheresawill1 Sat 25-Jul-15 18:59:12

I'm struggling with my first biggish episode in 10yrs also. I feel bipolar wrecked my life the first time round and then now after retraining; holding down a demanding job for 6yrs and getting an msc it's back for another go. At the moment I'm at work but my home life is suffering terribly. I suppose what I will say to you is this - we know things get better and God do we appreciate the good times when they come.
Use the crisis team- they can keep u having a normalish life at home. I don't have access to anything like that because I'm a mh prof and there's issues with confidentiality

Chapuys Sat 25-Jul-15 20:56:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dontrunwithscissors Sun 26-Jul-15 11:54:32

Thank you. I was in a right state last night. I'm lucky to have such good services here and I really appreciate it. I just wish I could get back to stability. We tried switching antipsychotics 18 months ago, but it was a disaster. I went back to Quetipaine, but I've just not managed to get back to how I was b

Anyway, I've gritted my teeth and we are on the way to our parents. Right now I'm fighting the urge to just open the car door and jump out sad

Chapuys Mon 27-Jul-15 08:49:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dontrunwithscissors Mon 27-Jul-15 14:54:29

Thank you. The kids have cabin fever--they're over excited and it's chucking down. Just muddling through. Using diazepam and making excuses to disappear upstairs every now and then. Just counting down the hours until I can get the train home--then I'll be on my own for 1.5 weeks.

Chapuys Mon 27-Jul-15 22:48:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dontrunwithscissors Tue 28-Jul-15 08:50:24

Thanks, yes, I'll be completely on my own for those 1,5 weeks. I'm partly keeping quiet about how I'm feeling right now because my DH won't let me be along if he knew. I just looking forward to some peace.

dontrunwithscissors Thu 30-Jul-15 21:46:57

Jeez, I'm struggling tonight sad.
On my own as DDs and DH are staying with grandparents. I've got s stash of paracetamol and bottle of wine. I'm in control, will ring crisis team if need be, but I'm just so fed up of going round and round in circles. I'm bored. I've had enough.

mistlethrush Thu 30-Jul-15 21:55:41

But your dcs won't have had enough. I understand that, just at the moment, you might not feel like it, but just think of them for a bit. Hang on in there, call the crisis team, see if you can sort out some alternative meds that make things easier for you.

Chapuys Thu 30-Jul-15 22:01:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dontrunwithscissors Fri 31-Jul-15 09:16:56

Thank you. I ended up speaking to someone from the crisis team. I was walking around outside by that point, but she convinced me to go home. Ironically, the walk seemed to tire me out a bit and I slept a bit better than the last few weeks. Just waiting to see CPN.

Chapuys Fri 31-Jul-15 12:11:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dontrunwithscissors Fri 31-Jul-15 12:18:13

Thanks chapuys, my CPN has referred me to the crisis team. I have more PRN meds to knock me out. I've just managed to get a nap, but was typically woken up by the phone after I'd dropped off.

Chapuys Fri 31-Jul-15 12:25:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mistlethrush Fri 31-Jul-15 12:27:11

Glad you're feeling a bit better - and that the walk helped. Perhaps a regular walk might help with the sleeping?

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