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Social Anxiety and cancelling outings

(9 Posts)
OhDearIndeed Sat 25-Jul-15 16:24:05

I was meant to be going on a group outing today, it's been planned for ages. I thought I would be OK to go, I really did plan to, but after worrying a lot and being in tears for an hour this morning, I cancelled at the last minute.

Now I am worried about what my friends will think about the fact that I have done this. I should feel terrible for letting them down, but I just feel sort of empty and have just had another little cry for being so pathetic.

I wish I had said no to begin with rather than going along with it, wasting everyone's time and some of my own money. I should have known.

I just wanted to get this out as I have no one to talk to today. I think I'm getting worse with this sort of thing really. I suppose I am wondering if anyone else can relate and if it is worth going to the GP?

MrsNippyCat Sat 25-Jul-15 16:31:21

I can completely relate. I do this often. Well, I don't arrange outings with other people too often but when I do I often cancel at the last minute after stressing over it for ages.

I have made a GP appointment about this and various other anxiety-related (I think) issues. I don't know what I expect her to do but I think I need to do something, to feel like I'm taking some kind of control of it and because I can definitely notice a deterioration recently.

OhDearIndeed Sat 25-Jul-15 16:40:25

Hello MrsNippyCat, sorry to hear you have been experiencing this too but it is sort of nice to know I'm not alone. thanks
If it had just been my friends I probably would have gone but there was going to be people I don't know well or had never met so I panicked.
I think I will phone the GP on Monday and make an appointment - don't know what can be done but I suppose it is best to ask.

MrsNippyCat Sat 25-Jul-15 16:58:07

Yes, with people I've known for a while I can get past it - and even enjoy myself! But new or unfamiliar people, or big groups, busy places etc are harder to deal with. I've agreed to go on a day/night out in Edinburgh right in the middle of the comedy festival. Stressing already and resisting committing to the (scarily high!) cost of a hotel.

It is nice to know that other people feel the same way and I'm not just weird and anti-social! Although there may be an element of that too grin

Yes, I can't see that talking to the GP will do any harm and may even help.


OhDearIndeed Sat 25-Jul-15 18:12:29

Oh gosh, sounds exactly like me! A group of fairly new friends were planning a trip to London a while back but I said a definite no to that one as I knew it would be too busy and overwhelming.
Hope you are able to get some help from your GP too. And if you do go on the trip to Edinburgh I hope you are able to enjoy it.

MrsNippyCat Sat 25-Jul-15 20:56:41

You know, I'm even stressing about the appointment - it's not until mid August. I told myself that's good because maybe I will be a bit better by then and will be able to cancel as I think things have worsened for me due to a stressful few months and a significant bereavement. But actually all the time waiting till the appointment is just extra time to worry. I have no idea what I'm going to say, I haven't ever put how I'm feeling into words and I don't know where to start.

OhDearIndeed Sat 25-Jul-15 22:06:32

Sorry to hear of your loss MrsNippyCat flowers
I understand about it being difficult to know how to say what you are feeling. Could you maybe write down some bullet points and use them as a basis for talking to the GP, or even just hand the note over to let the doctor read it and that may prompt some questions from them to figure out how to help you.
I think I am going to try and confide in a friend as well, but it will be difficult. I wish someone would just ask if I am OK so I could say 'no, actually...' rather than having to think of how to start the conversation.
Anyway, I am feeling a bit better about today now. I went out for a walk earlier and am quite glad to now be curled up with a good book rather than out in a loud group worrying about having to get the last train home!

MrsNippyCat Sun 26-Jul-15 10:29:53

Your evening sounds perfect!

If someone asked if you're ok, do you think you would be able to say "no"? I always end up saying "yeah, fine" then thinking that it was a perfect chance to be honest...

OhDearIndeed Sun 26-Jul-15 14:59:40

Good point, if my sister or my best friend asked then I think I might be able to open up to them, but if it was anyone else then yes, I'd probably just say I was fine.

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