How do you do it? Terrified...

[DressingGownFrown]

Feeling really shit about myself tonight. I'm seeing peers graduate and know that will be me next year. Next year I will need to get a job to support myself. I've already had to take time off uni due to mental health problems and have really had to slug it out the rest of the time. I have no responsibility bar my dog and DP. We both have student loans and my dad gives me money every month. We have a house and car and though we have a right budget we are fine financially. But I find it so hard. Everything is so hard. I don't feel suicidal, but that's more out of my love for my family than for myself. Sometimes I wish DP would leave and then I would have 'a reason'.
The real issue is, I can manage life as it is now, with medication, long holidays between terms and few contact hours. I don't feel that I will cope in the big wide world. It terrifies me. What will happen if I just can't cope with a job? And I don't feel like it's a case of 'I just will', that didn't work with uni, I had a year off. I can't take a year out of real life.
Will this be the rest of my life? Scraping by, coping, managing?

[NotAJammyDodger]

Starting full time work after student life is pretty daunting. I still get 'Sunday night return to school' wobbles before Monday mornings (am 43 years old), and am sure I'm not the only one! [Grin]. I took quite a few years to find the right job / career path. So it's ok to have a go at a job and move on if it doesn't float your boat, the hours don't work, or may be you want to try something part-time. Whatever you do decide upon you aren't wedded to it for the rest of life.

Do you know what kind of work you would like to do? What interests you?

[MummySparkle]

I find having a job easier than I found uni. It's set hours and I can leave it at work, I don't have deadlines and assignments that I have to get done. I wouldn't say I'm coping, but I'm managing. Job searching is tough, but once you find something you'll settle into a routine. Try not to worry too much about your student loan. Chances are you won't be paying it off for a few years yet. The big wide world isn't as scary as it seems, although I do miss the support I had when I was at uni sometimes. Could you look into any local MH support groups? I used to go to a 'walk and talk' once a week around a local park. There was no pressure, but it gave me something to look forward to, a time I knew I didn't have to pretend to be 'normal' or to fit in with the world around me