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How do you do it? Terrified...

(3 Posts)
DressingGownFrown Thu 16-Jul-15 23:39:43

Feeling really shit about myself tonight. I'm seeing peers graduate and know that will be me next year. Next year I will need to get a job to support myself. I've already had to take time off uni due to mental health problems and have really had to slug it out the rest of the time. I have no responsibility bar my dog and DP. We both have student loans and my dad gives me money every month. We have a house and car and though we have a right budget we are fine financially. But I find it so hard. Everything is so hard. I don't feel suicidal, but that's more out of my love for my family than for myself. Sometimes I wish DP would leave and then I would have 'a reason'.
The real issue is, I can manage life as it is now, with medication, long holidays between terms and few contact hours. I don't feel that I will cope in the big wide world. It terrifies me. What will happen if I just can't cope with a job? And I don't feel like it's a case of 'I just will', that didn't work with uni, I had a year off. I can't take a year out of real life.
Will this be the rest of my life? Scraping by, coping, managing?

NotAJammyDodger Thu 16-Jul-15 23:55:30

Starting full time work after student life is pretty daunting. I still get 'Sunday night return to school' wobbles before Monday mornings (am 43 years old), and am sure I'm not the only one! [Grin]. I took quite a few years to find the right job / career path. So it's ok to have a go at a job and move on if it doesn't float your boat, the hours don't work, or may be you want to try something part-time. Whatever you do decide upon you aren't wedded to it for the rest of life.

Do you know what kind of work you would like to do? What interests you?

MummySparkle Thu 16-Jul-15 23:56:42

I find having a job easier than I found uni. It's set hours and I can leave it at work, I don't have deadlines and assignments that I have to get done. I wouldn't say I'm coping, but I'm managing. Job searching is tough, but once you find something you'll settle into a routine. Try not to worry too much about your student loan. Chances are you won't be paying it off for a few years yet. The big wide world isn't as scary as it seems, although I do miss the support I had when I was at uni sometimes. Could you look into any local MH support groups? I used to go to a 'walk and talk' once a week around a local park. There was no pressure, but it gave me something to look forward to, a time I knew I didn't have to pretend to be 'normal' or to fit in with the world around me

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