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How can I get past feeling disappointed with life?

(2 Posts)
JoanofDark Sun 12-Jul-15 19:02:20

I've namechanged.

Maybe it's seeing 50 on the horizon, I don't know, I just keep finding myself disappointed with where I am in my life.

I'm thinking of seeing a life coach or similar - I need some perspective!

(1) I'm disappointed with my career. I trained as a teacher eight years ago and I can't find a stable position. I'm constantly chopping and changing, and not through choice.
(2) I'm disappointed by DD(13)'s attitude to a lot of things. She's very like DH in that she gets anxious over little things, is impatient, doesn't like to try new things. We've just had a week in Paris together during which she has moaned and grumbled about nearly everything.
(3) I'm disappointed to the point of a pain in my gut that DH has become more and more set in his ways, and never wants to do anything. Not only will he not come on holiday with me and DD, he wasn't interested in going away with me this summer while DD would be at my mum's. He has no sense of fun - he only values work.

I was treated for depression last year (following the death of my dad), but this feels different. This isn't a case of "Take some tablets and have some therapy and you'll get better."

I feel like I need to make some fundamental changes, but I don't know where to start.

I'm constantly on the look out for a new job, but not much comes up and I'm tied to my current local authority as long as DD's at school because the holidays vary from authority to authority.

I'm thinking of going on holiday with groups of like-minded people, rather than with DD as she's at an age where she's just mortified by my very existence.

DH and I had a big confrontation recently and he's said he'll do more stuff that I like, so I hope he sticks to that.

I never thought I'd end up here: bored and unfulfilled while I'm still young and healthy! I'm quite introverted, which doesn't help - I don't want to be off joining groups, etc. as I don't like regular commitment with the same people.

I'm desperate for some FUN though!


NotAJammyDodger Tue 14-Jul-15 11:34:17

I think there is a point in life when you realize that all your aspirations may not be achieved. When we are younger we still feel there is plenty of time to change careers, do new things, embark upon new adventures etc. I think there is a feeling of 'loss' that those future aspirations may not now happen, and you get can get overly, negatively reflective as to what you have actually achieved. It's also difficult to really change existing circumstances, especially if you are tied into a particular career path, as restarting doing something new usually involves a lot lower pay / lifestyle change.

It sounds like life feels a bit flat and lonely, and hence the boredom is now creeping in. I think the career / life coach is an excellent idea. You could tease out what you might like to do, discuss and appraise those options, as well as any hobbies and social interests you might like to pursue as well.

I'm guessing (as my DS is only 5 years old) that your daughter is probably typical for her age, and will grow out of it grin. It must be lonely though as well if DH also doesn't want to participate in living, only working. Not wanting to go on holiday with you / his family is strange, and must be upsetting.

Are there any pressing financial needs that makes DH think life must be all work, or may be he has got himself into a rut and 'forgotten' how to enjoy himself? Either way, your emotional needs are not being met and he does need to know that (hopefully without a confrontation), and commit to making agreed upon changes.

And you are never too old to have fun! smile

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