Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.
Advice needed please? (especially if you live in Devon)(2 Posts)
I hope this is the right forum, please move if not, thanks
I would like to write about something which has been on my mind for a long time. I live in Salisbury in Wiltshire and I’ve never been happy here. A lot of people call it ‘smallsbury’ because of the village idiocy (if that’s the right word to use) that some people have. Some people bare grudges and never ever let things go. Some people move on and forget the past, whilst the majority who live here don’t and feel they have a duty to carry it on and bare resentment towards someone who is different from themselves.
I now feel that Salisbury doesn’t really have that much going for me like it used to and would love to move on, this is where I keep coming up against obstacles.
I haven’t that many proper friends in Salisbury, those that were have moved on leaving only the back stabbers who make out they are your friends but then criticise me behind my back! I was bullied a lot at school because I was quiet and reserved, I have since been diagnosed with Aspburgers syndrome. For those who don’t know what that is, it’s a form of autism. Two girls (sisters) who used to bully me at school because I was a bit ’weird’ are now women still feel they have to give me agro. Apparently thanks to them I have a reputation as being ’odd’' they still glare at me every time they see me in shops, the street etc. I’ve learnt to ignore them now.
Now here’s the real deal.
I visit Cornwall once a year and I think that is brilliant, it offers the sort of lifestyle I’m after and no one stares at you as if you are insane when you smile at them. I also like Devon and that is the place I would like to be, I would like to leave Cornwall for my holidays etc.
I have tried discussing this with my mum, but she says because I am on benefits it would get effected. My dad won’t discuss it with me anyway. Have tried talking to my cousins but all they do is get stupidly aggressive and mumble things like ‘bloody Devon, here we !^*&^”£$ go again!’
Also I have a friend who is in his late sixty’s early seventy’s and we were sitting in his car having a chat and I said I really liked the south west, and he replied ‘well yeah because some people think the grass is greener on the other side isn’t is?’ I knew it was aimed at me, I’m not that stupid. I also know he slates me off to his best mate because his daughters told me! This is what I mean about so called friends, proper friends don’t do that. If he can’t accept me for what I am, then I don’t think its ever going to work.
Have been drawn into a 30m meeting with my advocate (once again a senior person) who said ‘Salisbury is my home, why would I want to move?’
‘1 - Because it’s full of back stabbing idiot’s who have nothing better to do then slag me off at their own pleasure.
2 - Pace of life is slower and there is more opportunity to grow and expand, Which I wouldn’t get in Salisbury, which is like ground hog day and my life is stalemate unless I break free!’.
Lastly I have been told by another lady (who doesn’t even live in Salisbury!) that I would be stupid to give up my home. I have dropped the subject with her as I value our friendship and hate arguments. She also uses my car park space.
I’m fed up being told all the negatives. These people have done all they want with their lives, I’m not ready for my pipe and slippers yet! My worst nightmare is growing old in a city full of old fogey’s (no offence) wondering what might have been. Salisbury is know as a place of the ‘blue rinse brigade’ what ever that means?
Some people who have left Salisbury said it was the best thing they ever did, now I want some of that.
I have thought long and hard on the pros and cons of moving and I really would like to go if I can receive the same support I’m getting here, but in Devon. Bit worried I could make myself worse off without help
Sorry if this post is a bit long. Can anyone advise me please?
Do you own or rent your house? If you get housing benefit now, you would probably still be eligible for HB there.
Are you working? I'm assuming you live alone? Would you be able to cope with the stress of moving and all of the change? And how are you going to make friends and meet people once you get there? If you've got answers and a concrete plan to get support in place and find some new friends then I'd go for it.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.