Depression Diagnosis - Should I Employ a Nanny?

[MummyMoving]

I have recently been diagnosed with clinical depression. I've started medication and been told to rest. I'm a SAHM with 2 young children and have no family or friends in the area who can help out.

My husband is keen to hire a nanny to take pressure off, even though we can't really afford it. He wants to ask his parents to help us - but this feels totally alien and wrong to me. I already don't contribute financially and don't want to be a further drain.

Does anyone have thoughts or advice about this? Thanks in advance.

[ReallyTired]

I am sorry to hear you are ill. Is your oldest chilld enough for pre school? Lots of two year olds attend part time to aid social development. Part time ore school would be a cheaper option than a nanny.

What is your relationship like with your in laws? Do they have a similar parenting philosophy to you? Do you want them to look after the baby on a regular basis?

Sometimes an hour to yourself can be good. It can allow you a bit of time to be you. I think you need to think carefully what you do as moping about in bed might make you feel worse. When I was in your position I found that doing an evening course was a life saver. I enjoyed the mental simulation of meeting other adults. Some people prefer going to the gym.

Do you thinking hiring a cleaner would help you?

[CookieLady]

Sending my youngest to nursery for three days a week when he wasn't even one years old really helped aid my recovery when I was depressed. Do not think of yourself as a drain. You need help and like me don't have family close by to help out so hiring a nanny/mother's help/sending dc to nursery provides that support.

Definitely hire a cleaner as when I was suicidal even getting out of bed to fed my children required all my energy and I felt exhausted afterwards, IYKWIM.

Everyday do one thing that you find/used to find relaxing, be that reading trashy mag, watching a movie/TV series or having a soak in the tub.

Above all be kind to yourself.

[windchimes23]

I sent my 8 month old to full time nursery and employed a cleaner. This enabled me to have space to recover. She loved nursery and still does.

I've had many ups and downs but extra help was essential. I don't know what would have happened without it.

If you can afford help, use it.

Personally I didn't want a nanny as I wanted to be alone at home as I would have interfered with the childcare.

I'm now back at work and have just employed an after nursery nanny for two hours each evening and also have a cleaner for five hours a week.

Good luck.

[TheWildRumpyPumpus]

My 3 month old went to nursery 3 days a week as I was hit hard by PND, my parents also helped out on the other days.

If you are really struggling and can afford it then there is NO SHAME in asking for help. A mothers help would be another option maybe as she could do as much or as needed?

[slightlybonkers]

Getting a cleaner in a couple of times a week would take pressure off you; even a few hours childcare would give you a break. Please don't feel guilty it won't cost that much in the long run and won't be forever.

[windchimes23]

How are you doing? Have you made a decision to get extra help in?

[MummyMoving]

Thank you so much for your kind responses ladies. It's been a tough ride since finally being diagnosed (my parents etc do not understand at all!), so receiving these supportive messages really means a lot & has been a source of comfort this week.

After reading through all the advice, I've decided to employ a childminder 3 days a week so I have a block of time to rest. Hopefully this, coupled with taking the pressure off myself to have everything perfect, will help.

Thanks again for the kind words.