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To stay at work or not?

(3 Posts)
LadybirdSpots Tue 07-Jul-15 13:12:54

Sorry in advance if this is going to be a long ramble!

Have had depression for over 10 years, I've been up & down with it, and have now been on medication for years. The medication has always helped, and I've been able to carry on with a normal life, working, looking after DS etc.

LadybirdSpots Tue 07-Jul-15 13:35:32

Oops pressed send too soon, bloody phone hmm
I've recently found out I'm pregnant. Was a shock but me & DP are happy. We haven't been together long, but we're together previously, and although we're having to work on a few things, over all we're happy together.
Since I found out I was pg my GP suggested I try and come off my citalopram. I started taking 10mg every other day, with the aim to stop altogether after a few weeks.
But these last few weeks I've just felt worse and worse. It's like a huge cloud I can't seem to lift. I'm so snappy and grumpy and miserable, I can't enjoy anything, I'm exhausted all the time and i really have found it hard to keep going.
I went back to the GP yesterday, and hes's put my meds back up to 20mg a day, and says that there's no risk to the baby with that level. He's happy to sing me off work, but m really stuck about wether or not to do it. I work in a school, doing two separate jobs there. One of the jobs is very physical, so I was looking to leave at the October half term anyway. I wouldn't be entitled to maternity as I haven't been there long enough, and I wouldn't be able to afford nursery etc to go back when the baby was 6 months to a year anyway, so I was going to completely leave my job, and find another one with better hours etc when the baby is a bit older. I've been signed off sick for this week, and tbh I don't know what to do. I work in a school, so would have 5 weeks off starting from the end of next week anyway, and then would be going back for 8 weeks. DP is adman ant that I should just stop work now. He thinks it'll be better for me with my depression, and I'll be able to cope a lot better. I just few so guilty at the thought of not working, particularly when I would only be working for another 10 or so weeks anyway. I fee like I'm completely stuck and have no idea which is the
the best way out. I've been to CAB and quite frankly they were useless. I don't know what to do for the best. I hate hate hate not working, but at the same time the thought of going back to work makes me feel sick. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation before? I just can't see a solution. I feel so guilty not working, and can't cut my hours as I work 16 hours spread over the 5 days, so don't think that will be possible. I just feel so lost.

and quite frankly th best way out. he's

LadybirdSpots Tue 07-Jul-15 13:36:05

Sorry about the random words at the end, I can't seem to delete them on my phone :/

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