Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Exhausted & miserable at work

(8 Posts)
peachpearplum465 Mon 29-Jun-15 04:12:06

Recently, a situation in which I was sexually harassed at work occurred and has left me feeling extremely nervous and dread going to a job I enjoy. It's not so much the situation itself as the way it's being handled by my manager; who seems to want to sweep it under the rug and pretend everything is fine. I have tried telling him twice now that I am deeply unsettled with the whole thing but his lack of empathy couldn't be more apparent! My anxieties have gotten so bad that I've managed little to no sleep over the past week. I've started frantically itching and I get the shakes. It's affecting my quality of work as I cannot focus and have become very snappy with my clients and colleagues. It is also affecting my relationships outside of work with my partner now sleeping in the spare room because I'm tossing and turning all night. I feel completely drained. I almost collapsed getting up for work the last time I went in (Friday). instead of putting myself through the absolute nightmare of taking this case any further, I would ideally like to take some time off due to stress. Is this something I should go straight to my doctor about or chat to the HR department at work? I've become paranoid that my GM is looking for excuses to get rid of me now as he's making it abundantly clear that my "problems" are a burden to him. Any advice?

madwomanbackintheattic Mon 29-Jun-15 04:20:58

Were HR involved with the original incident/s? I think both need to be involved - as soon as possible. Please don't put it off any longer. Look after yourself.

peachpearplum465 Mon 29-Jun-15 04:30:35

They were aware of the sexual harassment allegation but the GM seemed to want to handle this internally and informally. I can't believe I'm the one that's being made to feel like this for something that isn't my fault. I have to be there in 4 hours time and it's going to be a nightmare. I am hallucinating I'm that shattered. I'm nervous because I don't know what to say to HR. I'm too scared to tell them that I feel the GM is dealing with this in totally the wrong way. I'm at a bit of a loss!

TheoriginalLEM Mon 29-Jun-15 05:06:56

Don't go to work today. Get an emergency appointment with your gp and get signed off. You are heading for a breakdown. Once you start to feel a bit better get some legal advice. flowers

peachpearplum465 Mon 29-Jun-15 10:02:52

It's difficult as I know that some time to think about what I want to happen would help but at the same time I feel guilty for letting down other colleagues (calling in sick is always daunting). They would completely understand. I have called in sick today and spoken to my line manager, whom I was totally honest with about the whole thing and they were extremely supportive. I'm waiting for a call back from the doctors now. I feel very, very nervous still.

madwomanbackintheattic Mon 29-Jun-15 15:31:01

Hopefully things have moved on a bit now and the GP has signed you off. You now need to insist that HR handle the incidents in a formal manner, and that the GM is not involved in the process.
Are you in a unionized environment? If so, also contact your Union. Ask HR for copies of their formal policies on harassment and discrimination and the official process for complaint resolution in these circumstances. Do you have someone that you are comfortable with that can help you? Sometimes a union rep can be good to ensure everything is handled appropriately?

peachpearplum465 Mon 29-Jun-15 18:30:05

I saw my GP and I'm signed off now until next week. When I go back, I'll know the outcome of the informal meeting and I can take it from there. I can almost guarantee that the person in question hasn't even received a disciplinary but I'll prepare a conversation with HR and will absolutely insist the GM no longer be involved. I have full trust in my line manager as they work closely with me and know my character, whereas the GM does not. I have a handbook so I'm going to read over the procedures tonight.

madwomanbackintheattic Sun 05-Jul-15 00:25:38

Well done peach. Good luck for next week x

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now