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Having to choose between being depressed or having a sex life

(15 Posts)
citalopram202 Fri 26-Jun-15 16:00:33


I was taking citalopram for 5 years. It worked well but I then discovered it was causing me a painful and debilitating side effect so I withdrew. I didn't realise it was causing the problem but I've been much better since stopping.

We have had virtually no sex life for those years as ssri drugs wreck your sex drive. I have been feeling more inclined to do it since withdrawing but my depression seems to be coming back sad

I feel terrible anger and hatred towards everyone. I'm irritable and can't concentrate. I'm argumentative and negative. I'm so angry at everything. I'm clearly ill. My home life is fine but it's coming into contact with people outside that I'm not dealing with.

I need to go onto another antidepressant. I've been taking St. John's wort and an amino acid to try and deal with things but I feel terrible most of the time.

If I start taking another one it's back to no sex. I feel sorry for dh as well as myself. I feel so angry towards the people who have done this. Are they reliant on drugs just to get through the day?

I've been sailing a bit close to the wind at work as well. My manager has been told a few home truths confused

I hate my life. I've had CBT but that hasn't helped with the anger. I clearly have an intractable problem. I need to be on medication.

KatharineClifton Fri 26-Jun-15 16:04:48

Different ones have different side-effects. I'm sorry you are feeling this way - you need to ask the doc for a different one with a lesser loss of libido. It's unlikely that citalopram would even work after 5 years of use.

KatharineClifton Fri 26-Jun-15 16:07:01

If you google 'anti-depressant which doesn't cause loss of libido' quite a lot comes up. If your doc is anything like mine then it is better to go armed with info than depend on them coming up with something suitable.

citalopram202 Fri 26-Jun-15 16:11:55

The citalopram was working well for me. I've been on two others before and they caused the same problem. It's a well known ssri side effect sad

captaincake Fri 26-Jun-15 19:06:34

Could you try escitalopram? It's had less of a sex ruining side effect than others for me (but still not good)

citalopram202 Fri 26-Jun-15 20:53:52

Escitalopram was one of the ones I was on years ago. I specifically asked for it because it's supposed to be better than some of the others in this respect but it did effect me.

I've also been on paroxetine which did the same.

Jemimapuddleduk Sat 27-Jun-15 07:11:41

What about one of the older ad's that aren't ssri's? I am on Dosulepin which has had a great impact on reducing my depression and anxiety. Minimal side effects (dry mouth and small weight gain).

Pandora37 Sat 27-Jun-15 17:31:44

You could always try mirtazapine - SSRIs kill my sex drive but once I was on mirtazapine my sex drive came back with an absolute vengeance. Unfortunately it very commonly causes weight gain but I didn't gain an enormous amount (about 10lbs).

afink Sat 27-Jun-15 18:27:13

Sertraline has been the SSRI that killed my sex drive the least, so that could be one to try. Paroxetine was by far the worst.

spanky2 Sat 27-Jun-15 18:34:00

I have depression at the moment and I don't even want to touch or talk to anyone, let alone have sex! I'm not sure depression is better than antidepressants. Talk to your doctor about one more suitable for you.

AnImpalaCalledBABY Sat 27-Jun-15 18:39:19

When I was taking ssri's I did find it affected my libido, but I made a concious effort to minimise that. I found that by having regular sex, thinking about it, reading erotic fiction, using lube etc my libido stayed almost at it's normal level. If I stopped making the effort to want it my sex drive disappeared so I did find that a lot of it was under my control and that helped a lot

Electrolux Sat 27-Jun-15 18:45:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

citalopram202 Tue 30-Jun-15 15:48:57

I've started 50mg of sertraline with a view to increasing it to 100mg after a couple of weeks. I'm off sick today due to feeling so bad.

She offered me venlafaxine but I've heard bad things about this so declined. She insisted they'd had good results with menopausal woman on it but I'm not menopausal yet confused

I quite clearly can't manage without medication sad

fluffybunnies246 Wed 01-Jul-15 09:50:56

citalopram I've been on Sertraline for 5 years. I think all SSRI's affect your libido. I used to joke with my husband that the brand name 'Lustral' should be changed to "NoLustAtAll'. I asked to be put back on lofepramine (I was on it before) due to side effects (libido/sweating/falling asleep whilst driving) but Dr said that they don't prescribe those things any longer. But my libido/ability to have an orgasm did come back eventually. I agree with impala that making an effort helps as does talking about it with your partner- during my nolustatall stage my husband understood that I needed a bit more attention in that department.

helenck Wed 01-Jul-15 17:08:48

Hi - Citalopram is pretty soft compared to some ADs. However, all these meds depend on ourselves: our physical make-up - and, of course, what is emotionally going on for us. CBT may only touch the surface of something - and, unfortunately, it is often all that is being offered by the NHS (I don't know if you are in the UK). Please get a few 'interviews' with psychotherapists or psychotherapeutic-counsellors: I mean you interview them, ensure they are not charging you for the first session, negotiate on the fee (if needs be) and see what's out there for you. You're feeling so angry - and it sounds deep. Anti-Ds and cognitive therapies can often repress: they just hold whatever is underneath "at bay" - to surface some other time...

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