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Forgive Me

(34 Posts)
NameChangeforShame Wed 24-Jun-15 13:50:35

I just can't do this anymore. They will be better off. Please tell me they will forgive me. It really is the only way. In the long term they will go on in a much better way.

BlueKarou Wed 24-Jun-15 13:54:29

I'm sure they (your family? children?) would much rather you were there and that you were ok.

Do you want to talk?

CatMilkMan Wed 24-Jun-15 13:58:48

No, they won't be better off it isn't the only way and if you do it they probably won't forgive you.
You have more options than you think, call either the Samaritans or your gp.

NameChangeforShame Wed 24-Jun-15 14:00:12

But blue I can't be ok and I am so damaging. They are young enough that they will forget in time if they don't have to be around me.

bluejeanswhiteshirt Wed 24-Jun-15 14:01:37

Sorry to be blunt but no. They won't forgive you. This is not the answer and believe me I know how low you're feeling because I've been there. Your illness is clouding your judgement. Talk to us?

naturalbaby Wed 24-Jun-15 14:03:10

I don't believe they will be better off. Even if they are young enough to 'forget' you, they will always want/need you around - even if you don't see it now please try to believe that they will.

PeterParkerSays Wed 24-Jun-15 14:04:13

Your children will not forget you. You need to be here for them.

BlueKarou Wed 24-Jun-15 14:04:18

They won't forget. No matter how young they are they will grow up knowing you gave up on them and on yourself.

Do as Cat said; talk to your GP, or call the Samaritans if you need something more immediate. We're here to hold your hand, but you need to be strong and work on fixing this.

NameChangeforShame Wed 24-Jun-15 14:04:41

I promise I have done all that Cat. I promise. But you're right. They won't forgive me. I think what I am doing by being here is even worse though. I love them so so so much but I can't keep hurting them. They don't understand and I get that.

bluejeanswhiteshirt Wed 24-Jun-15 14:05:53

What makes you think that you're hurting them?

Theoldcauliflower Wed 24-Jun-15 14:06:03

Op they will not be ok, they will be left without their mum, your ill and can get better with treatment. Are you seeking any help?

NameChangeforShame Wed 24-Jun-15 14:06:29

Please help me. I just want to be dead. It's been too long and I am a despicable person.

BlueKarou Wed 24-Jun-15 14:08:37

It may seem like the hardest thing in the world, but you can get through this. You just have to get help; it's the first and hardest step, but it's the best thing for you and your kids.

Call the Samaritans now - hearing a human voice will help.

FenellaFellorick Wed 24-Jun-15 14:09:52

We can't help you. We aren't trained, we don't know your situation, your needs, who you are, what's going on... People who don't know what they are doing can do MASSIVE damage.

Please please please PLEASE call your GP, go to A&E, phone the samaritans, anything.

You obviously want to be helped or you wouldn't have gone to the trouble of changing your username and starting this thread. You are asking for help. The best help available to you is to go to the dr or hospital or make a phone call and tell them that you are in crisis.

do you have a friend or family member who could help you right now?

bluejeanswhiteshirt Wed 24-Jun-15 14:10:07

Please do call the Samaritans. Where are your children now?

NameChangeforShame Wed 24-Jun-15 14:12:29

My kids are safe with DH. I would never ever hurt them. Never

twentyten Wed 24-Jun-15 14:16:33

Please call Samaritans.

bluejeanswhiteshirt Wed 24-Jun-15 14:16:37

Does your DH know how you feel? Please contact a medical professional or a helpline. Your kids love you unconditionally.

twentyten Wed 24-Jun-15 14:19:07

08457 90 90 90* (UK)

BlueKarou Wed 24-Jun-15 14:21:09

Losing you would hurt them.

The number for the Samaritans is 08457 90 90 90. They will help you start to see past this fog and work out what is the best way to look after yourself and your family.

NameChangeforShame Wed 24-Jun-15 14:34:49

You all sound like such nice people. If you knew me you'd feel differently.

NameChangeforShame Wed 24-Jun-15 14:37:18

Yes he does. He is such a good kind man. I keep thinking that if I weren't here then he could find someone who didn't have my problems. Someone who would love him and my kids and have none of my bad parts

NameChangeforShame Wed 24-Jun-15 14:38:26

I will call them I guess. There are people around now so I can't but I will.

PurpleDaisies Wed 24-Jun-15 14:39:46

That's the depression talking op.

The Samaritans are brilliant listeners who are there for people just like you. Do you think you could call them? Or maybe your GP?

OhNoNotMyBaby Wed 24-Jun-15 14:40:39

Please call them now. They will help you find a way out of this. We all of us dig our own holes sometimes and we need other people to help us climb out.

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