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is anybody there who could just be with me now, sorry

(97 Posts)
elementofsurprise Sun 07-Jun-15 23:04:45

it's ver bad, very alone, tried to tell SO he just annoyed saying im bringing him down. i see no way out. trying to hold on, sorry, not sure what to do fel so worthless no help

notquitegrownup2 Sun 07-Jun-15 23:09:08

So sorry that you are in a dark place. It must be very frustrating for you that your SO cannot be there for you. But don't focus on him now, look after yourself.

Can you call the Samaritans? 0845 790 9090 There will be someone there who will listen. I know that it doesn't change things but it does help, honestly.

Then you need to get through the night. Can you cuddle up with a blanket on the settee, and have some soothing music on in the background? A hot water bottle for yourself might be nice too.

And if you can't sleep, keep on posting, keep on talking here.

Thinking of you

StupidBloodyKindle Sun 07-Jun-15 23:13:52

Hey you
No one is worthless, no one. No one should make you feel worthless either. Why are you feeling so low might I ask? Is it a mixture of things or are the walls just closing in? I can listen if you want to have a vent.
cake brew

Janethegirl Sun 07-Jun-15 23:15:28

Sorry, but can't think of any practical help. Samaritans will always listen though.

brewflowers

Crikeyblimey Sun 07-Jun-15 23:16:09

Nothing wise to offer but I'm here too. I'll listen and be here if you want to chat.

nilbyname Sun 07-Jun-15 23:16:09

Here's a hand, and a listening ear.

TarkaTheOtter Sun 07-Jun-15 23:16:33

I'm here to listen too. You're not alone. flowers brewcake

springalong Sun 07-Jun-15 23:19:54

I'm listening too.

elementofsurprise Sun 07-Jun-15 23:23:17

I've ben really low... more than ususal, for about 10 days... like all day every day, not getting better. Having flashbacky things about moments i'm not supposed to (ie. not high-level trauma but feels like it to me). Tried to explain but he got cross saying I always had long explanations. I hate being so fucked up it takes ages to explain to a normal person. Peope think I'm making it up.

notquitegrownup2 Sun 07-Jun-15 23:24:27

Can you tell us something about yourself, element? How long have you felt like this? Has it crept up on you, or has something happened?

notquitegrownup2 Sun 07-Jun-15 23:25:23

Sorry X posted. Are you under a GP? Crisis team?

elementofsurprise Sun 07-Jun-15 23:25:59

I'm so tired of trying, everyday, and managing less and less. Spent most of the ast week in bed. Milestone birthdy coming up and dont want tlive that long. Im so sorry, i dont know what the answers are. I have two close friends of which SO is one... I got scared of people and stopped making the effort to make new friends and maintain one-way friendships.. some of that is good I think but v lonely now.

Janethegirl Sun 07-Jun-15 23:28:52

I'd try to make new contacts who may develop into friends but if SO is not on board it may not work. Is SO helpful/ useful to you with the way you feel??

nilbyname Sun 07-Jun-15 23:29:11

Have you spoken to your GP about this? So you think you could make an app to do that tomorrow.

It's a horrible feeling when you feel like you're not being listened to.

flowers

nilbyname Sun 07-Jun-15 23:31:58

That's my dd just woken up!

Keep talking on here x

StupidBloodyKindle Sun 07-Jun-15 23:33:03

You know what OP? I have a saying, which some might think is self-indulgent, but it goes like this: if I am feeling something then it must be true. In other words, do not let anyone invalidate your feelings just because they might not think/react/feel/process things the way you do. You feel low so you are low, that simple, you are not doing it to bring someone else down, or attention seek, or having a pity party for one, You are low. That's nothing to feel guilty about or be given a hard time about. It just is.
So, ten days of feeling listless and low, with the added grimness of flashbacks, we can both agree is Not Good. You need a Plan. Do meds work for you? Are you on anything atm? Can you get to a GP in the morning? Basics...what are you having for breakfast? Have you got clean clothes for the morning? What can you do tomorrow to get you up and out the door?

CycleChic Sun 07-Jun-15 23:34:13

Hey. unmumsnetty hugs your post here says that you want to live that long.
flowers

StupidBloodyKindle Sun 07-Jun-15 23:38:13

Milestone birthdays suck. So have an unbirthday and celebrate tomorrow instead with a shower, pull on some clothes, put on some lippy and go and get a haircut and buy some cake.

textfan Sun 07-Jun-15 23:41:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sherbetlemonD Sun 07-Jun-15 23:46:36

Please get some help if your feeling low OP- I know it is hard but you need it in order to move forward. Call your GP in the morning and demand an appointment. Samaritans are great- I had to contact them myself a few weeks ago and they were fantastic. I actually emailed them first but then spoke with someone on the phone which I found to be the most useful. I'm here for you =)

Italiangreyhound Sun 07-Jun-15 23:50:36

elementofsurprise so sorry you are in this terrible place at the moment. Please do chat to Samaritans as well as us.

www.samaritans.org/

www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

08457 90 90 90* (UK)
116 123 (ROI)

You can also email them, details on he website.

I would also say can you visit your GP doctor for some advice? If it is depression there is often a medical reason, as well as other things. And there are always solutions.

Bless you.

elementofsurprise Mon 08-Jun-15 00:05:03

sorry for delayed reply, keep zoning out when next task seems too much... just needed to move and get laptop charger...

Erm. I'd fit in in the stately homes thread. Asked for help when realised I was still v unhappy even after leaving home. as labeled BPD (somewhat inaccurately imho but heyho) so appalling treatent/lack of, basically excluded from everything. Difficult years, diffuclt experiences eg. homeless. Passed. Got to happy place then broke down. That was nearly 5 yrs ago. Feel in a way like I've dealt with a lot of it but there's aways more. I can say abusive ex was a wanker and forget him, but other peoplesituations hurt so much and i cant forget because i cant understnd or process them in the same way. No help from services, private therapist weekly fr the past yr (services pushed me from pillar to post, random discharges, they dont even see the past 5 yrs as a continuous 'illness'! Despite me basically help seeking/trying to self-help for most of it)

elementofsurprise Mon 08-Jun-15 00:11:48

I'm sorry if that doesn't make sense. i keep thinking i should die but im scared of oing to hell so i dont. i think its too late to get better. im so scared. i wish i wasnt me

sherbetlemonD Mon 08-Jun-15 00:17:54

OP don't you dare think like that: you aren't giving yourself enough credit. To keep going as you are is an achievement in itself. Don't ever loose sight of that no matter what anyone else tells you. You are stronger than you realise.

You sound like you have been in a similar situation to what I'm in now. I have abusive parents, I've let them control me and my life for the past 23 years. It's incredibly tough getting people to understand if they haven't been through it themselves.

Can I ask what you do with yourself on a daily basis- do you work at all??

Lonelylass1218 Mon 08-Jun-15 00:30:54

I really to understand how you feel and I hope you manage to over come it, am here to hold your hand if you need to talk.

Don't stress yourself set small tasks for the next few days. If I was you right now I would start with

1. Call a help line forms good chinwag and let some steam off

2. Set an alarm to wake up early and ring GO for an appointment, you have said they haven't helped much in the past but they may have some advice this time so worth a try

3. After you make the appointment have some breakfast and a nice bath/shower

4 write out how you feel and issues you want to address so you can discuss it with GP and show the list if you get overwhelmed while talking.

5. Between now and the appointment try to relax and do things you enjoy maybe watch a movie or listen to music

6. I think socialising with some new people may help you get some new support so maybe join a hobby group or even get out of the house and go for a walk/shopping to the library etc

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