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Can u have a breakdown once u start relaxing?

(8 Posts)
Thatslife72 Wed 27-May-15 23:38:46

Hi just wondered on people's thoughts about this. I'm a single mum with 2 gorgeous children, I have very little help as no support network really, away from family members. I left my husband 5 years ago of course that was stressful, I met someone else, to cut a long story short I realised he wasn't the one and was no good for me and my children. I had a hard time getting him out my life but boy did things get worse. A friend introduced me to someone else saying 'I don't know why he's single' . I soon realised why, he wAs single, he was abusive mentally and physically he raped me, he was always loosing his temper, the police, domestic violence team were involved when I was trying to get rid of him. I'd be running away with my children, I was living on my own with loads of threats from him every day for months. I cried so much during that time but I found the strength from somewhere to deal with it all and keep him away from us. During this time my house got broken into, there was a leak in my house that damaged the house. My car died and I had to find a way of getting a new one, deal with all this on my own. I then moved house which was stressful, it fell through a few times and I was running out of money.

Eventually though I did move to a smaller house, I started to relax, enjoy life, make new friends, spend quality time with my children, get my business off the ground, I started feel more confident and I eventually met someone else very slow at first but it gradually got stronger, we went away together, I laughed a lot, I was happy at last, the children were happy and doing well at school. Then my body just started to change, I felt very tired at first had tests for iron etc, but all ok. Tried to carry on then I started to stop sleeping even though I was exhausted, then panic attacks started which I'd never experienced before. Fainting,I was depressed and emotional just couldn't stop crying. I felt complete panic all the time, haunted even it was the worst feeling I'd ever experienced I thought I was going to die,which made me panic even more. It was so hard as I had 2 children to look after, but I needed someone to look after me. My bf did his best but he lived 30 mins away and has his own kids. I eventually ended up on anti depressants, sleeping tablets and beta blockers! I'm off the sleeping tabs now and don't often take the beta blockers, but I'm now trying to make sense of it all. Maybe after years of problems and drama and being strong my body just went bang when I finally started to relax and be happy? Has this happened to anyone else or is my theory a possibility?

colouringinagain Thu 28-May-15 22:50:54

So sorry to hear you've had such a tough time on a lot of fronts

I think you're spot on with your theory. I think we carry on while we have to - esp with children - but it does catch up with you at some point - like you say your body, and mind says enough now. Does mean you'll have a greater self awareness.

wishing you all the best in your ongoing recovery x

indigoteeshirt Fri 29-May-15 06:41:41

I second that, Just as you over tax a muscle and it strains and then needs recovery time. sounds like you're in a good place to recover fully and time does heal.

Pointlessfan Fri 29-May-15 06:45:03

Stress can affect people in different ways. I know my body holds onto stress until I relax eg. Holidays and then I'm often ill or emotional and too tired to move.
I hope you start to feel better soon.

WottaMess Fri 29-May-15 07:26:31

I get stress related migraibes. But always when the pressure point has just been relieved. We cope when we have to but I think we need recovery time after and sometimes our bodies force us into it. Be gentle with yourself.

glub Tue 02-Jun-15 16:50:11

i'm no expert but could it be some kind of post-traumatic stress?

NotAJammyDodger Fri 05-Jun-15 00:14:13

Agree with other posters, especially can relate to Wotta's comment about migraines after the stress is over.
Sometimes I think you're just running on adrenaline, and when the fight or flight appears over you collapse exhausted.

Thatslife72 Sun 07-Jun-15 19:05:28

Thanks for your replies. Yeh I've wondered if it's like a post traumatic stress thing! I've read lots of things about it and it seems to fit. It's nearly a year since I started to feel ill and I am much, much better. But I'm still not the same as I was before I got ill, I wonder if I ever will be !

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