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to think enough is enough?

(20 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

NoFixingMe Sat 02-May-15 19:18:58

NC here as a regular...I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. My kids deserve better. My husband deserves better. I am a bad bad person and the decent thing to do would be to check out. I'm too much of a coward to even get that right so I am just making everyone miserable. The meds, the therapies, I really have tried. For a lot of years. Maybe some people are just too broken. Please don't say think about my husband and kids. I AM. They won't abandon me so I have to set them free of me. I don't know why I am even posting

Quitelikely Sat 02-May-15 19:20:53

Your posting because your lost. You need help. You aren't useless.

You have people who love and need you.

Any chance of a change in medication?

flowers

Sirzy Sat 02-May-15 19:22:11

Your not useless.

If you think you may do something immediatly do you have a crisis team you can call? Or phone the Samaritans? Otherwise get hold of your care team on Monday

Good luck x

KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon Sat 02-May-15 19:22:43

Been there. Know how you feel.

Don't know what to say to help you. It does pass. Eventually.

Can PM me if you like. Off to work in a few minutes so won't be able to check my phone until about 11pm.

TeenAndTween Sat 02-May-15 19:24:28

Call the Samaritans 08457 909090 if you have no one else in RL you feel you can talk to.

Cazakstan Sat 02-May-15 19:24:45

I don't know what to say OP but I didn't want to just skip over your post.
I'm here if you would like to chat.
And I'm sure that others will follow.

((((((hugs)))))) and flowers

WhoseBadgerIsThis Sat 02-May-15 19:26:17

I have seen the effects on family when someone who thought they were a burden killed themselves. Please don't do that. Feeling like a burden is a symptom of mental health illnesses such as the one it sounds like you have. In other words, your brain is not thinking straight right now, and it's got this decision wrong. You're thinking of your family, but right now, you can't trust that your brain is thinking straight. Go to A&E right now and tell them what you are telling us. There is help out there, and you don't have to always feel this way.

Big big hugs

Charlotte3333 Sat 02-May-15 19:26:37

You're posting because you recognise that you want help. I can't offer anything other than a friendly ear, but didn't want to read and run. Even if it's venting on here, know that there are people willing to support you and listen. flowers

nickersinaknot Sat 02-May-15 19:28:24

There is always hope. No matter how useless you feel your dc will infinitely prefer you here than not.
You wouldn't be setting anyone free, you'd be setting them up for a lifetime of hurt.
Cal the Samaritans, please flowers

DeriArms Sat 02-May-15 19:32:21

OP, if you are feeling this way, and not sure you are able to keep yourself safe, please go to your local A&E and ask to speak to the mental health team. They will be able to put you in touch with your local Crisis team.
Please keep posting here as well, we are here to listen xx

IonaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 02-May-15 19:32:34

Hi there OP,

We're so sorry to hear you're feeling so low and we do hope you find the strength to reach out for help in real life.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on jo@samaritans.org. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We're going to move this thread over to our Mental Health board in just a moment where we know there are lots of folk who have found themselves in this dark place before and will be able to offer lots more support and advice.

Very best wishes to you, OP.
MNHQ

Justusemyname Sat 02-May-15 19:35:39

I'm so sorry to feel like this. Please don't end your life. I'm sure you want to be well not deceased. Fight for yourself, fight for your children's right to have a well mummy. Go to hospital if you are scared you will do something irreversible.

Been there flowers.

londonrach Sat 02-May-15 19:36:45

Hugs op. You not useless. You have a dh and children who love and care about you and now alot of random people on mn. Believe me we care! Please look at what mn iona suggests but remember everyone cares. Xxxx

NoFixingMe Sat 02-May-15 22:11:49

Thank you for responding to me. I don't know what I expected but I didn't expect anyone to listen or to care. I'm still here. I really don't know how much longer I can go on behind this mask but you don't know how much it means to me that you were here when I was alone

KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon Sat 02-May-15 22:48:26

Where are you?

What part of the country??

Cazakstan Sun 03-May-15 05:59:53

Morning OP,

Just wondering how you're feeling this morning and if you managed to get any sleep.

Also, if you've had any thoughts on seeking RL help.

Just so you know I've been thinking of you...You are not alone.

Sending you a morning hug and flowers

WhoseBadgerIsThis Sun 03-May-15 18:09:01

Hiya. Thinking of you. Keep going one step at a time, and you're definitely not alone. Hugs

NoFixingMe Wed 06-May-15 22:07:14

Thank you all so so much. I have never done anything like this before. In RL I am the one everyone else turns to and I never really feel I can lay it all out there and admit I'm sinking sometimes. This was the first time I posted online about it, and you know what? You bunch of kind and caring strangers saved me.

On Saturday something just cracked in me and I couldn't manage. I said and did some terrible things. I know you would like me to say I have made huge changes and have a different support system but I don't. I spoke to my DH and apologised for my total flip out. He "gets it" as much as he can but life is horrendous for him when I am like that. He is such a kind man and I love him.

But I wanted to thank you. Thank you for understanding, for not judging, for not telling me to "pull myself together". Just thank you.

WhoseBadgerIsThis Wed 06-May-15 22:45:21

Just glad to have helped!

We don't expect everything to have changed overnight, so don't worry about that! Good on you for speaking up here and laying it out - it's really hard to do, but I've certainly found that speaking up helps. Think of it like a broken leg - it's nothing to be ashamed of, just something that needs a bit of help and support to get healed! People are always here to listen and support and hand-hold, so do keep speaking up here if it helps!

Hugs smile

Justusemyname Thu 07-May-15 07:52:27

Do you have a plan to get the help you need?

I really hope so.

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