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New Health anxiety thread as the other is full

(147 Posts)
40slady Thu 30-Apr-15 16:09:05

Hi starting a new thread as the other one is full ..
anyone welcome flowers

roslyndee Thu 30-Apr-15 16:12:56

oh wow just found this, didn't realise there was one. hope you don't mind me joining. i suffer horrible health anxiety.

am going to the doctors about it tomorrow but am nervous in case they put it in my notes and don't take any of my symptoms seriously.

At the moment I'm convinced both myself and DH might contract CJD because a couple of years' ago in a restaurant (v posh, high end place), we had calf's brains (yuck, I know).

Does anyone else also worry about loved ones' health? I'm terrible for thinking DH and my Mum have cancer all the time.

Such a relief to find this, had been feeling utterly mad. Had really been feeling sort of like I was trapped being alive and therefore doomed to feel terrified of dying while being utterly certain of dying, yet sort of wishing I wasn't alive at the same time so I didn't have to go through the worry.

Sorry for long post, I know I sound completely bats.

40slady Thu 30-Apr-15 16:51:11

welcome roslyndee smile

hopefully others will hop over from old thread and we can help support one another , and you will fnd it a comfort ,
just knowing you are not alone with health anxiety , for me is a huge help .

for me my HA is mainly myself not other family members, im on a constant roller coaster ride of different symptoms and worries .
iv just started some CBT sessions after a long wait on the GP list so im hoping in time this will help .

Flowersandshowers Thu 30-Apr-15 18:17:45

Checking in again. Need to get my thoughts in check ASAP as it's very stressful!

40slady Thu 30-Apr-15 19:51:53

hi flowers , glad you found the new thread .hope your ok .and yes know what you mean ...
had the results of my recent blood tests , my doctor did soooooo many on Tuesday for me as i feel so bad , come back im badly vit D deficient and calcium to , so got to take some tablets long term to help .

but still with the answer im googling and now worried if its a symptom for another illness ....and so the worry continues ...huufff why cant i just accept i have this problem and got pills to sort it ..end of ..move on .... angry
health anxiety sucks !! sad

crabapple34 Thu 30-Apr-15 21:04:20

Hi roslyndee. I know exactly what you mean about the whole thinking about death thing. And yes, you do feel like you are mad. Hope your doctors appointment helps, and try to accept your anxiety for what it is and focus on treating that.

40slady I'm glad to hear the cbt went well, I hope it helps you long term.

I'm doing well still. Its unnerving me a bit actually, feel like I'm waiting for the next wave of anxiety to hit.

MinionDave Fri 01-May-15 01:43:54

Hi

I have health anxiety and am on fluoxetine for it. For me it comes and goes, I can be fine for months on end then all of a sudden it hits me like a ton of bricks sad

At the moment I am convinced I have either breast cancer or cervical cancer, as I have had sore breasts for the last 10 days. I started my period on Monday there, and I usually get pain a couple of days in advance but never for so long. I think it is subsiding now, but I can't tell as my brain keeps playing tricks on me, plus I keep prodding them all the time, searching for lumps. I came off the pill a couple of months ago so not sure if it's related or not but keep thinking the worst!

I'm due my smear in a couple of weeks too and last time I had to get a follow up one due to minor changes, although the subsequent one was normal I'm now worried they have missed something and this one will show the worst case scenario.

I am more stressed than normal just now due to uni exams and I was the same this time last year, was convinced I had lymphoma until the doctor gave me a full blood count, but this. Is exhausting.
I just want to be normal .

Sorry for crappy typing, on my phone.

alrayyan Fri 01-May-15 04:00:12

hi. I suffer with crippling cycles of panic and anxiety about my health mainly relating to old lifestyles. I become convinced I have got underlying STIs and liver damage from heavy drinking. I live in the Middle East which is a bit lonely for anxiety as you can't talk to friends except those you trust and don't want to burden them. Also I have an oil and gas free medical centre 5 minutes away who blood test/ultrasound etc at your request so I have developed a cycle of only believing them once the test has been done. Then I move.onto the next one. In the last 3 weeks I have had full bloods, an abdominal scan (ibs) a gynaecological scan and seen a specialist because I had a blocked hair follicle down there that I thought was warts.

I send all my love and friendship to everyone x

40slady Fri 01-May-15 08:43:02

morning all and welcome anyone new x

i think what i suffer from mostly is the " uncertainty " of everything health related , even after a good result im wondering , what if they missed something ?hmm and the doctors always say things like , "see how you go " and "it should pick up in a few weeks " come back if theres no change "..
all those sentences stick in my head and my head will be thinking ok maybe it cold be something els then .. hmm and so the process of second guessing and negative thinking begins again ...
i want her to say , right take these pills and you will get better and get on with your life ...

in my CBT session he is going through tecneques to help me cope with this kind of stuff , so will see how it goes ..
still so hard to let my brain relax and not worry i must say ..

going to try get out today to help find some sun somewhere ..

hope everyone has a good day thanks

roslyndee Fri 01-May-15 08:51:39

Just found out my DH has to go in for an abdominal scan - completely routine and was based on a 'we'll give you a scan just to cover all bases' type thing (and the thing they're looking for isn't even that serious in the grand scheme of things) but obviously I'm totally panicking now sad

flowers to everyone

treaclesoda Fri 01-May-15 08:53:16

I was on the old thread ages ago (or at least I think I was - definitely was on a HA support thread) and then went through a good phase and didn't come back. But it's back with a vengeance, so I'd love to join the chat.

I have got this horrible feeling down one side and I can't even describe it. I'm guessing it's probably muscular - I have a tendency to lean to one side. But now that I've noticed it, my mind can't switch off from it and my brain is convincing me that there is some huge growth in my side causing this 'feeling'. It's not even painful or anything.

This sounds so nuts written down. I could just cry with how mad it all sounds. sad

roslyndee Fri 01-May-15 09:10:27

treacle I'm sure I've had something like that before. It turned out to be nothing, as always.

I sometimes think the reason I practically kill myself worrying about health is because in a way I feel like if I suffer worrying about it then nothing will actually happen to me. When of course that isn't true. Life is random. I could spend my whole life worrying and nothing might happen, or I could spend my life worrying and I might get a terminal illness.

I think my worry is my way of trying to control what happens even though I know I can't.

Always got random pains that I freak out about and then mean nothing...

addstudentdinners2 Fri 01-May-15 13:30:00

does anyone here worry about mad cow disease or is that just me?

40slady Fri 01-May-15 16:54:54

no not worried about that to be honest adds ..are you? whay makes you worry about that ?

Treacle , i remember you from the last thread iv changed my name few times .lol

well started tablets but looked them up and they seem quite low , so went to doctors to check and they said my levels wasnt that low...at 27 and was a maintinance amount of vit d
she looked at me like i was mad ....
i said but i feel so awful will this be enough to help me ? she just said should be...

so now iv come away ...more worried, what if im feeling like this and its not the VIT D .... what if its something els ....like C and doesnt show on all my blood teats ...

considering changing doctors so can start over ....would they do all tests again or maybe do scans or more for me ....

feel like shouting ... IM NOT CRAZY I JUST HAVE HEALTH ANXIETY .

maybe they will listen ...

sorry huge rant but im feeling lost again ....

alrayyan Fri 01-May-15 17:03:36

feeling lost is such a good way to describe it. It's like starting on a path and going off just into the trees and suddenly realising you are in the middle of the forest all alone.

I find that it also invades happy times quite unexpectedly sometimes.

Buildmeabuttercup Fri 01-May-15 18:18:59

Hi everyone old &a new smile

crab yes my appointment is soon and it cannot come quick enough. I am driving myself up the wall living in constant fear. I have been having mild eye pain, blurred vision with lights like the TV and iPad, and head pains. I need glasses and don't wear them (i know this is stupid by they hurt) but I can't accept this as eyestrain. I feel like it's an aneurysm pressing on my nerves etc and nothing can convince me otherwise.

Brain aneurysms were s huge fear of mine two years ago, the fear crippled me to the point I was basicsally a prisoner in my home, I couldn't go anywhere do anything for fear of something rupturing in my brain. And now I'm back there. Out with the dvt and in with this. I hate health anxiety, I hate it. Just feel like I'm being punished for something.

Opticians appointment Wednesday if I make it that long, but I know I'm just going to torture myself until then. I'm so angry at myself because I had come so far in my recovery, I've let myself get sucked in again and I can't get out. I'm also worried about having my daughter taken away from me after reading some stories about people having their children removed due to depression. I love her to death and she is my life. My mum and dad use to say she would be taken away if I didn't get a grip and the fear is always there in the back of my mind.

I'm just trying to plod along making life Normal for her whilst I'm dying inside. I just want to wake up with no pains in my legs, no pains in my head or my eye and with a smile on my face. I know I sound like a complete and utter drama queen to anyone who doesn't suffer this, which is why I love this thread it gives me somewhere to sound off and not be judged because people know how hard suffering is, and that it's not attention seeking and piss taking, it's so real and it's actually horrible to live with. sad

crabapple34 Fri 01-May-15 18:33:04

build of course your daughter won't get taken away from you, that's an awful thing for your parents to say (and the last thing you should be saying to someone with anxiety!)

Don't be angry at yourself. We're not choosing to live this way, although sometimes it feels that way. It's a chemical imbalance (or something? I don't know!)

Buildmeabuttercup Fri 01-May-15 18:52:06

thanks crab flowers

You're absolutely right we don't choose to live this way, though unfortunately some people don't understand that it's not a conscious choice like I just love living in fear, what fun! Trying not to be angry at myself i just don't know what's happened between being at a point where I would class myself as recovered, and now where I'm just low. X

crabapple34 Fri 01-May-15 19:14:24

Well I suppose it's just one of those things that can't be helped. From what I've read, people seem to go through cycles of anxiety and there doesn't necessarily need to be a trigger. Just be kind to yourself.

I have a question for others. Does anyone else get horrible intrusive thoughts that aren't related to health problems? I got these a bit and they were awful and really felt like I was going mad. They began when I was going across a flyover and had an overwhelming urge to jump off, and I was then thinking about the consequences of that and how awful it would be etc etc. I couldn't walk back the same way. After that I had similar thoughts for a while but they didn't last long thank god.

alrayyan Fri 01-May-15 21:00:07

Yes I find that that I do have them when in a bad HA cycle.

One of the most reassuring things I ever heard was on a documentary where the psychiatrist of the Bedlam Clinic (which deals with acute HA as well as other types) said that most mornings he stops at a zebra crossing by a school and often has an unwelcome thought about not stopping. He said it in a jolly way without any anxiety and said it's quite normal to think this but under stress we just hear it in our conscious. I found it so reassuring.

Flowersandshowers Fri 01-May-15 23:38:07

I can so relate to what others have said about thinking you've moved away from it and getting sucked back in. My current worry about moles has been ongoing for the last few months although the worry has jumped from one mole to another and some I now consider 'safe' and others I am very worried about.
Dp is getting cross with me now and sick of me obsessing over it. He doesn't understand it at all and can't understand the constant need to check and the worry thoughts.

Buildmeabuttercup Sun 03-May-15 14:24:55

Feeling very tearful today. More sharp pains in my thigh (different place than usual) and now my dvt fear has started again. If I wasn't so scared of dying I would end it myself because I just cannot live like this anymore.

crabapple34 Sun 03-May-15 19:10:42

Oh no build, that sounds difficult. How are you feeling now?

40slady Sun 03-May-15 20:54:57

hope your feeling better build flowers

i feel same today my head is all over the place , im still convinced there missing something , not listening to me , not taking me serious ....
i want to go back and ask again and get refured to have scans and x rays done of my whole body to see whats wrong with me ...
cant seem to stop this cycle ..

hugs to everyone suffering with HA its truly awful at times , so glad to have this thread to find comfort knowing im not alone .

thanks for listening flowers x

Buildmeabuttercup Mon 04-May-15 21:01:11

No better. Dizzy and vomiting earlier.nwas extremely anxious but got over it quickly but now I have constipation and back pain and I'm sure I've got a bowel obstruction. I'm just laid in bed sobbing into my iPad knowing I can't get checked over until tomorrow when it will probably be too late. I hate life, I have no idea why I suffer this but I really am being punished for something.

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