I've Name changed for this as know a few users in RL.
Back story; was diagnosed with PND and anxiety after the birth of DD 14 months ago. Was on 40mg citralopram (sp) and had cbt and counselling. I self weaned just after Christmas, the counselling had ended and I felt amazing, best I've felt in years.
Had a few episodes of anxiety, nothing too serious (or so I thought) carried on with day to day activities. The panic attacks I've been having have been few and far between, sometimes mild other times have left me in fear that I'm actually dying.
I don't know if this is relevant but I kept imagining I could see someone in my home. Walking past the kitchen and I glimpse in see I see someone, look again and they are gone. Same for in the bedrooms, in the windows I thought I could see a reflection, turn and it's gone. This is not an everyday occurrence, just something that has happened more than what I'm comfortable with. I feel scared of being in my home by myself.
Anyway i am rambling - sorry!
Me and DH had a minor argument last night, he walked out of the front room into the corridor that leads to the kitchen and bedrooms.
Then it happened, I could see in my head DH walking into the kitchen, picking up a knife and walking back into the front room and he keeps stabbing me in the chest, the stomach, not saying a word.
In reality he had walked into the bedroom to check on DD, I panicked. I've hidden all the knives and scissors in a bag and chucked it out into the bin outside. He tried to touch me and i freaked out, screaming and crying which led to a massive panic attack. DH suggested that he would ring my DM to take DD for the night and I wouldn't let him. I thought that DM would steal DD for good and she would have me sectioned.
I told him this morning what I imagined was going to happen, he is horrified! I have no reason at all to think that he would do anything like what I thought. He said about bringing the knives back in and I physically can't have them in my home.
He's booked me into the see the MH nurse on Friday and I'm petrified that social services are going to be involved and they were going to take DD away. I'm convinced that they are going to think I have actually lost the plot
Can I please have someone to hold my hand. I've been in tears all morning and I'm so scared of what's going to happen next
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Mental health
I freaked out and lost it :(
16 replies
GTT · 27/04/2015 14:04
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