Please help

[startrek90]

I live in germany but am English speaking.

I have a little baby and I can't cope. I feel useless and pathetic and guilty. My DH and DS need someone better. I don't now how to snap out of this.

Today I actually looked up how to kill myself. I am too scared to tell anyone in case they take DS. Please give me advice?

[bluebell345]

do you have friends, family there?

[startrek90]

No. i moved here to be with DH after we married. I haven't made any friends yet. Its just his family (who don't speak english)

[bluebell345]

It must be very hard, I am sorry for you. :(
but I don't believe you cant overcome it.
just try to go out as much as you can and try to learn German language maybe.
I think it is the loneliness making you feel depressed.
But don't worry it wont be like that all the time.
how long have you been there?

[bluebell345]

having a young child is isolating but you are in a different country with a different language, that's making it harder I am guessing.

[creamhearts]

I think it is important you tell someone how you feel. Do you have a GP?

[startrek90]

I have been there nearly 18 months. I have a 4 1/2 month DS. We are in a little village and there is nothing to do. I occasionally take the bus to the drs for DS but thats it.

[Fairylea]

I just posted on your other thread. If you feel this way you really must get some help from the doctor and seek some support. I had terrible pnd after the birth of my first child 10 years ago and I had a very difficult birth similar to you. Please don't think your little one would be better off without you.

Your dh needs to help more. Lots more.

[bluebell345]

when you feel bad come and message here, there will be posters helping you, don't feel hopeless.

[startrek90]

I don't understand the health system here but I saw a dr when I got here. He only speaks german and he is in a town thats 3 hrs away by bus. He is closed weekends and evenings

[bluebell345]

you can find some British people living there maybe?

[Fairylea]

So if your little one is poorly who would they see? I'd start with them. They must have some knowledge about pnd.

[Malef1cent]

I lived in German speaking country and went to german speaking Dr. He did not want to treat me although my German was ok. He knew one American dr nearby and referred me to him. English isn't my mother tongue but my English is better than German.

Maybe you could ask if there is a English speaking Dr, maybe not native but one who knows English enough.

[nowitsenough]

Does your dh speak English and german? If so, can he take a day off work and go with you to the doctors? Or could he help you write down how you feel, translate it into german, so that you can hand it over to the doctor? Could you get a taxi to take you there?

[nowitsenough]

I used to live in Germany. As far as I know, your husband will be paying his contributions for health insurance and you and your son should be included in his policy. You probably have to take a health insurance form with you to the doctor, your husband should have these?