Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

anxiety or depression or something else?

(17 Posts)
deadenddan Thu 05-Feb-15 19:19:43

You were all very helpful with my last thread about DH thank you!

I'm just wondering those of you with experience. Dr said (after 1 session) it sounded like anxiety and depression. Prescribed 20mg citalipram and diazepam (sp). Didn't go well he totally spun out and panicked on it.

Anyway 2nd appointment today and Dr has just said don't take those meds, do contact my free work telephone counselling service as NHS one has about a billon year waiting list. And that's it??

I'm just thinking (from dr google blush ) that there are sometimes medical reasons like low iron that should be checked. Or other med options? ?

DH symptoms are always feeling slightly low and "ancy" unable to settle or feel comfortable anywhere. A sudden need to run away and a constant anxiety about being in a situation where he can't eg work. So he drives for hours.

On top of that is a sudden feeling of rejection, sadness and loneliness and a pain in his chest.

Any ideas / help welcome. And tips for me on how to react/be to an attack and day to day.

gemdrop84 Thu 05-Feb-15 22:09:52

I am suffering from anxiety and depression. The anxiety triggered the depression. I have had all the symptoms above plus a few more so I can relate. However I am on medication which is helping, been on them for 4 weeks. I take 10 mg of citalopram a day for the depression and 3x propanolol a day (beta blocker) for the anxiety/panic attacks. I would recommend the counselling, I am talking to dh more and finding I am feeling much better as a result. There is a forum called no more panic which offers information and advice to all with these problems so you may find that useful. I have posted on there frequently and found a lot of helpful stuff plus the people are lovely. There's a lot of support there. Dh helps by talking to me and hold my hand when I've panicked in the past. Distraction is key for me as I'm so focused on my heart rate and thinking I'm going to drop dead any minute. I wish your dh well.

gemdrop84 Thu 05-Feb-15 22:12:47

And as I understand, with the propanolol you can take as and when you feel in edge/starting to panic rather then 3x a day. It stops adrenaline flooding your body and keeps your heart rate steady. This has helped me immensely however I got anxious about taking them initially. I felt really crap for about 2 weeks, very woozy, nauseous but side effects have subsided and I feel much better now.

deadenddan Thu 05-Feb-15 23:22:06

Thank you Gem, he is refusing to consider meds at the moment as he's anxious about the effects the last lot had and also his naturally addictive personality. The Dr basically just shrugging hasn't helped that hmm.

I might look into those propanalol as something he can take as and when he may be more comfortable with. And the website sounds great too.

I really hope things look brighter for you too xx

RandomNPC Fri 06-Feb-15 04:42:23

Sounds like the GP isn't much use here, unfortunately some are far better than others. There are a fair few ADs that your husband could try, sometimes it takes a while to find one that suits. Sometimes symptoms can be aggravated for the first couple of weeks of treatment. Diazepam is rather old fashioned and addictive; it's generally not a good idea to take it longer than a week.
It wouldn't be unusual for blood tests to be taken, various conditions such as thyroid dysfunction, certain anaemias etc can cause/aggrevate MH symptoms.
It's really annoying when MH awareness campaigning and/or family pressure take someone finally to the GP, only to be faced with a less than helpful doctor. It puts people off, and can reinforce their feelings of helplessness and guilt that their MH problem is already causing.
My advice would be to return to the GP, or see another one at the practice if possible. Go with him if he'll let you. He might be minimising his symptoms at the appointment. It might be a good idea for you to read this to support yourself and your DH:

RandomNPC Fri 06-Feb-15 04:45:48

Here's the anxiety link. The section on 'fight or flight' might ring a few bells.

deadenddan Fri 06-Feb-15 05:07:22

Thank you. I think I've just made it a billion times worse. He had a "down" evening and went for a drive just woke to find a text he's arrived at a friends again 4hr drive away. So I've messaged back how dissapointed and hurt i am. Totally the wrong thing to say.

But FFS he had a meeting tomorrow. He hasn't given work a sick note or any indication of /how long he'll be off. He knows all 3 of the DC have a virus and are now up on my bed all coughing and crying. He has an appointment at the hospital for something unrelated. Follow up from surgery.

FFS i want to scream.

deadenddan Fri 06-Feb-15 05:09:10

And i start back at work next week and he's supposed to be having DC as we can't afford childcare. How the fuck can I trust he'll be here and safe with them?

Snog Fri 06-Feb-15 07:38:58

I'm not sure that you can trust he will be fit to take care of the dc until his symptoms are under control unfortunately. Do you have any support you can call in for you and the dc?

RandomNPC Fri 06-Feb-15 09:05:19

No quick fix, I'm afraid. He's quite acutely unwell; that uncontrollable urge to 'get away' shows that. I used to do that when my anxiety was very bad, I came out of one assessment with a psychiatrist feeling so wired and despondent that I ended up driving to Wales before I ran out of energy.
His GP has let you both down quite badly.
Even once he starts the right ADs, it'll take a few weeks for his symptoms to subside.

deadenddan Fri 06-Feb-15 10:14:45

My MIL possibly but it's taking her away from SIL who needs her (2 DCs under 1). My parents live miles away and are on holiday anyway. Street that I may have to drag them down but he won't want that.

Random What worked for you? Was that escape thing all the time? He thinks he's coping and getting better because he has 2-3 days of "coping" (but even that I've noticed is if he isn't sitting still) then boom a day like yesterday.

He's called 10 times this am and I can't pick up. I have DCs all day and if I talk to him I'm going to break. They can't see that. I have to function for them but I know he's going to be wherever the fuck he is spinning out argh!

RandomNPC Fri 06-Feb-15 10:28:11

No, it happened very infrequently; about 3 times a year? He's obviously not coping, he needs to take responsibility for his own health and go back to the GP surgery. I had a combination of ADs and talking therapies, my anxiety is much improved but the depression is more of a problem.

RandomNPC Fri 06-Feb-15 10:28:43

He needs to know that doing nothing about this is not an option.

deadenddan Fri 06-Feb-15 10:34:46

Shit then he's not good, looking at just this week.

Sunday night day out with family but he went for a late drive.

Monday night drove wales to retford.

Tuesday home for a bit - went on a drive until 4am

Wed home but driving around and about a bit

Last night went to GPs then spun out and drove Wales to North East.

And all when we haven't any money to pay the bills due next week and the older DC is asking where he is all the time, its becoming normalised to her and it really really shouldn't this could be damaging.

I'm going to force him back to a different GP. I'm going to call them today and see if they will speak to me.

RandomNPC Fri 06-Feb-15 10:36:54

No, I'm afraid he's not well at all. I've just read your other thread. How is your PND?

deadenddan Fri 06-Feb-15 10:45:03

I'm taking lots of deep breaths today to stave off tears and an edge of panic about money. I want to run away home to mum and dad but they aren't there and the kids lives are here.

The kids don't know. They are happy glitter glueing.

I trusted 1 person to talk to, a friend i've had since DD1 was a baby and yesterday DH did school pick up then asked me if I had told friend anything. because she refused to talk to him and gave him dead eyes in the playground.

I lied and said no but I could scream and slap her. We are supposed to be going to a playplace after school as a group, I needed that and DD was looking forward to seeing her friends and now I would rather chew my arm off than go.

But I will and I'll just smile and be quiet and tell her nothing.

Snog Fri 06-Feb-15 20:01:47

This situation sounds really hard for both of you and I agree you need a better GP.
Your dh sounds like he has unmanageable anxiety which can definitely be turned into manageable anxiety with some help, but this will take weeks if not months imo to sort out. Researching anxiety online if you have not already done so should help both of you. CBT can be very helpful as can medication but medication can often take months to get right and can sometimes make anxiety worse before it gets better...and when your anxiety is high to start with this can be really hard to bear.
Your dh is really lucky that you are so caring and supportive of him and this will really help him to recover I'm sure. This is all very hard on you though so I would call in support for yourself as much as you can.
Having uncontrolled anxiety is really really unpleasant.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: