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(28 Posts)
ssd Tue 03-Feb-15 16:47:18

sorry for the capitals just really need some help here
my friend has been going downhill since Xmas, she is now off work and barely functioning and almost catatonic

the crisis team have been out all last week after her anti d's made her psychotic

she is now huddled on the couch, her kids are upstairs, her dh is going to work

I really dont know what to do, she said her gp doesnt care

shes talking about how deep she'd have to cut to cut her wrists or take pills

I really really dont know what to do

she and I both have no family near at all and no one except dh's to rely on

ssd Tue 03-Feb-15 16:50:43

is there anyone I can phone to come and help her?

I dont want to interfere but cant sit back and do nothing either

her dh is a doctor but not much use, he's probably terrified

dont know what to do here

YouAreMyRain Tue 03-Feb-15 16:52:41

I have no idea but isn't the usual advice in these situations for her to present herself at A&E? Could you get her there and watch her kids while she's there?

YouAreMyRain Tue 03-Feb-15 16:53:06

Maybe ring the Samaritans?

Theselittlelightsofmine Tue 03-Feb-15 16:53:45

Call the crisis team

Mitzi50 Tue 03-Feb-15 16:54:09

So sorry to hear this.

Ring the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90 - they will support you and talk to your friend if she is willing.

Presumably her DH has an emergency number for the crisis team

ssd Tue 03-Feb-15 16:58:37

she wont go to A&E and I dont know why her dh isnt just taking her there himself

she said the crisis team were supposed to phone her but havent

she keeps saying no one cares and she wants to go

I could shake her dh but I've wanted to for years, he doesnt communicate well and she deals with everything, I think everything has got too much for her

she wants her mum but shes dead and her dad has alzheimers and lives 400 miles away

dirtyprettything Tue 03-Feb-15 17:00:12

Please call the Samaritans now. They will help.

Mitzi50 Tue 03-Feb-15 17:02:48

I am a bit gobsmacked to hear DH is a doctor. Please ring the Samaritans - they will help you support her until the crisis team get in touch.

ssd Tue 03-Feb-15 17:11:21

I am at home, I had to leave her, her dh is there, I said surely he wont go to work, I really dont know if he will

I second being gobsmacked, TBH I cant take over, he is the expert not me and I dont know where to start

Iwasinamandbunit Tue 03-Feb-15 17:33:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ssd Tue 03-Feb-15 17:48:00

yes, she has always been very up and down and I think has depression on and off but shes at rock bottom just now.

she did go manic, as you described above.

she feels nothing can help her.

I'll tell her to phone the crisis team.

she hasnt been diagnosed with anything, that I know off

shes just kind of totally shut down, cant eat, get up, cook or do anything.

Iwasinamandbunit Tue 03-Feb-15 18:09:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ssd Tue 03-Feb-15 18:16:59

I'll try, thanks for your post. I'm sorry you've felt like this as well, it looks terrifying. What you described is exactly what she is like, down to the talking thing, she said she cant tell the gp how she really feels as she cant get it out.

I pray her dh steps up to the mark and really helps her properly, he doesnt have a great track record.

Iwasinamandbunit Tue 03-Feb-15 18:33:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ssd Tue 03-Feb-15 19:50:24

thank you!

I've just seen her, she was a bit better. She says she becomes a bit more normal later on in the afternoons, its like something lifts. Not enough to feel normal, but not crawling along the carpet grunting, crying out for help, which is what she has been doing in the mornings, shes terrified her kids see her like this. She's trying HRT, shes been menopausal for a year and her symptoms seem similar to some menopause symptoms. I really hope they help her.

She said she hasnt been a good friend to me. I reminded her she was the one who helped me clear out my dead mums clothes 2 weeks after she died as the council wanted the house back, when my own siblings were too busy,and uninterested, and that was the hardest thing I've ever done. I know what being abandoned feels like too. thank you for your insight, you are helping me understand what she cant express.

Iwasinamandbunit Tue 03-Feb-15 21:26:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ssd Tue 03-Feb-15 21:36:13

Thats exactly what she says, she said she wanted to stay awake all last night as she doesnt want to wake up and feel that way. She dreads a new day.

Did you get a diagnosis Iwasinamandbunit? please dont answer if you dont want to disclose too much. I wondered if my friend was bipolar, I asked her about this earlier, she said she may well be.

Thanks for saying I can pm you, I probably will in the next few days.

YouAreMyRain Tue 03-Feb-15 21:37:22

What time is your friend taking her meds? Maybe that's linked to her feeling better in the evenings?

ssd Tue 03-Feb-15 21:38:32

she started HRT yesterday at bedtime.

anti d's literally drove her crazy.

EssexMummy123 Tue 03-Feb-15 21:41:55

The crisis team will have an out of hours number you can call - tell them what you put in your OP, if she doesn't come out of crisis and they are concerned about any attempt on her own life they will try and find her a hospital bed.

Itsgoingtoreindeer Tue 03-Feb-15 21:45:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ssd Tue 03-Feb-15 21:47:01

she said the crisis team are crap

her husband has phoned them numerous times in the morning and they take 3-4 hrs to come out

then they ask banal, text book questions, nod their heads and sigh a lot.

AmantesSuntAmentes Tue 03-Feb-15 21:54:35

'Mind' offer all sorts of support and an advocacy service too. Have you been in touch with them?

AmantesSuntAmentes Tue 03-Feb-15 21:55:46

Sorry, I handy meant to imply that you should have been! Rather, have they contacted them? Although I know they support family and friends of people who are suffering too flowers

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