I'll try, thanks for your post. I'm sorry you've felt like this as well, it looks terrifying. What you described is exactly what she is like, down to the talking thing, she said she cant tell the gp how she really feels as she cant get it out.
I pray her dh steps up to the mark and really helps her properly, he doesnt have a great track record.
I've just seen her, she was a bit better. She says she becomes a bit more normal later on in the afternoons, its like something lifts. Not enough to feel normal, but not crawling along the carpet grunting, crying out for help, which is what she has been doing in the mornings, shes terrified her kids see her like this. She's trying HRT, shes been menopausal for a year and her symptoms seem similar to some menopause symptoms. I really hope they help her.
She said she hasnt been a good friend to me. I reminded her she was the one who helped me clear out my dead mums clothes 2 weeks after she died as the council wanted the house back, when my own siblings were too busy,and uninterested, and that was the hardest thing I've ever done. I know what being abandoned feels like too. thank you for your insight, you are helping me understand what she cant express.
The crisis team will have an out of hours number you can call - tell them what you put in your OP, if she doesn't come out of crisis and they are concerned about any attempt on her own life they will try and find her a hospital bed.