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Struggling at work after sexual harassment

(3 Posts)
wallaby73 Sun 01-Feb-15 18:25:21

So.....I filed a complaint over a year ago against a manager in my workplace. it took months for HR to investigate. This person has serious previous it turns out, but my complaint was about how he had treated me over a period of time and how it had escalated to the point that I had to block him entirely, which he did not react well too. It was not the fact that he had served time prior to his employment. Throughout the investigation, I still had to work with him. It was confidential so I could tell no one. They found him guilty; yet still did not suspend him. It has now moved to a disciplinary, yet still they have not suspended him. I have had to attend numerous meetings, it has been incredibly stressful. I have had to give evidence in front of panels of people, all the time being assured they are doing their best. I was signed off with stress and anxiety just after filing the complaint as I was genuinely frightened of what was to happen next, we are in an open plan office. Then I had to return to work; at this point I was on citalopram and small doses of diazepam for times where I felt excessively panicky. Over time this subsided, but I still had to cope with seeing this person daily and an ongoing investigation. At one point I collapsed on the way to my car after leaving the office; came round being loaded on to a spinal board with a head injury where I'd hit the road. There was no underlying condition, I was tested for everything. My gp concluded it was ongoing stress.

Over the months that have followed, I've sometimes coped fairly well, it feels like I've been pushed into a corner and expected to "carry on". The whole thing feels minimised. I've had huge support from the union, I know I'm articulate and intelligent, and I've continued pushing and pushing for what I feel is right and I will not stop. I've also seen an employment solicitor as I feel there have been many mistakes along the way.

So it brings me to my current state : last week I kind of very suddenly unravelled. It's been over a year since I complained. I find now I simply cannot face the idea, the very concept of being in work whilst he is there. I cannot do it anymore, I just can't. I shake at the thought, and I have spent the past week feeling in utter despair. Getting through an hour feels painful. I am finding it hard to physically move, and have to force myself to get dressed, to go out for a walk. I have to force each stage of my day. I share my dc's 50/50 with ex-dh. when they are here I find it easier, I absolutely have to be present and on the ball. When they aren't here, I'm a mess.I got an after surgery appt with a gp at my practice last week who I've never seen before, she was clearly pushed for time, so I had to explain everything as quickly and concisely as possible, she signed me off for 2 weeks, and I see my own gp on tues morning. My working relationship with my work partner will now be in tatters; she doesn't know what is going on and will feel abandoned - again.

My major worry is what can I say to my gp on tues, I cannot bare the thought of going back until he is removed, and it is looking hopeful, things are moving, but as I say, I've done this for a year and I've hit a wall. My Union rep says it is entirely reasonable that I feel this way given the seriousness of the charges. My solicitor was aghast he was still there. But I can't cope with it anymore. As I live alone, I feel I have no one to speak for me, and I know I will get distressed at the gp appt, which I find humiliating and anxiety ridden about. I feel on the verge of some sort of crisis but I don't know what.

Has anyone any suggestions? Thanks for getting this far......

MagpieCursedTea Sun 01-Feb-15 18:33:37

Print out what you have said here and give it to your GP.
The situation you are in is awful and you shouldn't have to put up with it. Hopefully someone more knowledgeable about legal matters will be along to advise, but for your GP appointment, just give them the print out so you don't have to go through it all verbally.

wallaby73 Sun 01-Feb-15 18:45:23

As i re read what I'd written, that did occur to me - thanks

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