Really need help. Urgent I finally have strength to ask for help.

[Walkingmistake]

I am manic have bipolar 1 and although I was clean of drugs (only ever took weed) I relapsed. My husband upon finding this out has asked for a divorce. He not only wants sole custody but he doesn't even want me having supervised visits. Says he gonna use the weed to stop me seeing the kids. If I don't stop going out with my friends. Plus give up weed, he gonna stop me seeing kids if I leave him.

I did something stupid tonight I was manic and out with friends when he told me of his plans. I was hysterical and a friend bought me some amphetamine to calm me down. I've never touched this before but was so upset I stupidly took it. I have flushed the remainder.

I also confessed something else to my husband tonight. He came pretty close to raping me last week forced my legs open and held my wrists down. I got a arm free as he was about to penetrate me and slapped him and said if you take that one step further it's rape. I ran out of the house and I ended up sleeping with my friend. It happened another once after a major argument. I confessed this to him. He just said he is leaving tomorrow on my sons birthday.

I know I have done wrong and I know I have messed up. Just don't know what to do.

[dontrunwithscissors]

WM, things sound really tough and complicated. Do you have any contact with MH services?

[OurMiracle1106]

First of all contact your doctor. Report what he did. You reacted badly but in honesty its quite natural to react in such a way. By it being a friend I am assuming you feel safe nd cared for which is what you needed and one thing lead to another. Him leaving on your child's birthday Rather than today I feel is emotional abuse. Its your fault he had to leave. He could wait until the day after or leave today.

Leave him. Get help. Do all you can. Courts do not take children from mothers just because they smoke cannabis however your mental health could be an issue. get help and now. Don't wait.

Leave him. Don't sit and be a wreck waiting for him to damaging yourself.

Contact your local crisis team.
Hugs.
If you want to talk feel free to pm me x

[NanaNina]

Have you namechanged as you sound very like someone else on the MH threads.......so sorry you are going through this. You will only be doing what you're doing because you're in a manic phase as so it isn't your fault. Does your DH not realise this?

You need to get in touch with your CPN/crisis asap.

[toothpasteinthetree]

Attempted rape is attempted rape, no matter what you did: the law is clear that husbands do not have the right to force themselves on their wives, sexually or in any other way.

"Friends" who buy you Class A drugs and sleep with you when you are vulnerable are not your friends: they are not behaving as true friends should.

I agree that you could do with some help. If you're not already linked into services, your GP is probably the best place to start: if you turn up as soon as they open tomorrow morning and explain the situation to the receptionist, they should get you an urgent same-day appointment. If it's too hard to explain face-to-face, maybe you could print off your OP, which very much seems to explain why you need help quickly.

[Walkingmistake]

Thank you very much. My husband has left. I have the kids and my sister is staying till I see psychiatrist in the morning.

[NotYouNaanBread]

I'm very sorry you are having such a hard time.

I agree with the advice above and I also think that the concerns your husband has about your friends are valid, whatever else he has said and done. Instead of helping you, they give you drugs you don't want or need, and have sex with you when you are at your most vulnerable.

Try to stay strong and look for the right kind of help.