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Future Brother-in Law Causing Rifts in the Family

(1 Post)
Sallylongfrock Tue 06-Jan-15 23:21:12

Hello everyone,

My sister is getting ready to marry the most petty, mean spirited, divisive man I have thus far had the displeasure to meet, and I have become another of his 'targets' (my mother was his last and continued 'victim'). It all started last July when my mother rang me to say that he'd deleted her from social media sites, and when I checked, he'd deleted me too.

I've had agoraphobia, depression and anxiety for over 10 years and rarely go out of my home. If I do go out, it's usually to my mothers, or another place I can feel 'safe'. I was therefore quite confused as to why he would delete me too as my interaction with him was extremely limited. I contacted my sister to ask what, if anything, I'd done to upset him. She responded by saying that he hadn't deleted me (he had) and that I'd done nothing wrong. He then sent me a friend request (my sister didn't even question why he had to send me a request). I decided to ignore it because he's already caused so much upset, especially for my mother, which has started to negatively affect her health.

Anyway, since then he's spread gossip about me, got other family members against me, including some of my cousins and nieces, which is the most painful aspect of this situation. Over Xmas my niece exclaimed to her sister "don't talk about things in front of aunty Sally" and "you're ugly/stupid" (she's only 6 years old). My other niece, age 13, didn't even say thank you for her presents and wouldn't talk to me much at all. I was astonished and deeply, deeply saddened, because I then realised that he's involved the children in his spiteful endeavours.

He's extremely controlling and aggressive toward my nieces and they pretty much fear him. They've been visited by Social Services because my older niece spoke to a teacher at school about her concerns about his aggressive behaviour toward her younger sister (a longish story I won't go into here). Although I rarely go out, I would attend family events in the past, and stay for as long as it was bearable. My sister had another child, a boy, last year and I wasn't invited to the Christening. My aunt also died last year and my cousins didn't invite me to the funeral. Another few cousins have also deleted me from FB (I know it's sounds petty, but it's hit me really hard). He can be very charming in the right company, and I am dumbfounded people have fallen for his deceits!?

I walk around my home most days crying, or on the verge of tears. I suppose I just want to write something down about what's been happening in an attempt to try to understand it. All I know is that I feel utterly isolated, confused, angry and depressed with the whole thing.

Happy New Year and Best Wishes to All,


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