No longer in denial but what now?

[nugget05]

I have a history of depression and anxiety although I've always refused medical help as I found a way of coping enough to be able to go to work but I have a 7 month old baby and I've been in denial about how I feel and in the last couple of weeks I started to admit to myself I need help. The problem is I don't know how to get the help I need, the gp or hv would be a good start but my anxiety gets bad when I even think about making an appointment with the gp and when I see the hv I have every intention of talking about it but when she comes I just smile an pretend everything's fine . I can't leave my ds not even with his dad, I left him once for an hour, had a massive panic attack and had to come home, I sat there crying and holding him for ages after. I don't sleep at night I have nightmares that someone has got in the house and is trying to take ds and wake up crying and can't breath. I have completely irrational thoughts that ds is gonna get hurt or something will happen to me like falling in the shower or down the stairs and he'll be on his own I have no rl support anymore, I haven't seen or spoke to my sisters since July and my only friend that I could talk to has moved 200 miles away. When I finally manage to see the gp what am I meant to say? 'Hey I've lost the plot and don't know what to do' my sisters told me that social services would get involved and possibly take my son away or at least give his father a strong case to get custody, I'm terrified of that happening but I need help I can't keep telling myself it'll get better because it's only getting worse

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

First of all, its not at all uncommon to become stressed or experience anxiety etc after having a baby. You are a single parent, so you will probably be pretty knackered as well and lack of sleep makes it worse.

I'd probably go through the health visitor if you have one. If you don't think you can phone, do they have a drop in clinic? Ours had a clinic where you could wait and speak to the HV in private if you wanted to.

Speaking to someone about being anxious will not lead to social services being involved, your baby being taken away or your ex getting custody. It sounds like you are putting their needs first and I expect that you are taking very good care of him.

Jot down some of the things that you are worried about before you go and see someone so you're not thinking on your feet. What you've written here would be a good start. HVs and GPs will have seen this lots of times as its not uncommon at all.

[orangepudding]

I sought help for depression a few months ago from my GP. He was very understanding and prescibed me some medication.

No mention of SS was made. I was given the help I needed by my GP.

If you will be anxious before an appointment I recommend booking an appointment on the day so you don't have too much time to think it over.

Seeking help will be beneficial for you and your baby.