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I feel like all my past issues are resurfacing

(3 Posts)
Saltire Sat 03-Jan-15 10:28:35

For many years I had low self esteem and was very conscious of being tall. All through school I had to put up with a lot of name calling for being tall, some very nasty names, which, with hindsight weren't that bad, but when you are aged 11-16 and have issues at home too then they seemed like the worst thing in the world. I used to not go out very often or if I did, I tried to hide my height
I also suffered a lot when I was 16 when my dad died and I have guilt issues that I didn't do enough to stop his heart attack.
A lot of these things came back to the surface after I had DS2 (now 15) and suffered bad PND, but through seeing a CPN and having meds I got , I thought, over it.
Fast forward to now.
A lot of people are now calling me by the name of a well known tv personality who is very tall, very daft and had her tv show end on new years day - see I can't even bring myself to say her name.
I get irrationally upset about all of this, DH has tried saying "you know, they say it cos she's funny and they think you are funny". But I don't think they are, in my mind I am back at school being bullied for being 6ft tall. I think they are implying that I am big and stupid and it has started me off again, last night I changed my cover photo on facebook and someone said "Is that ..... in the photo wearing the red jumper (me). I haven't commented, but was very upset and was crying.
I am really pathetic aren't I, getting wound up over this

LooksLikeImStuckHere Sat 03-Jan-15 21:55:09

flowers OP.

I don't think you are pathetic at all, it sounds like you have had to deal with an awful lot and it's no wonder you are sensitive to this.

To an extent, I think your DH is right, they just don't know how much it upsets you.

Is there a way that you could let one of the group know that it upsets you? Then maybe the message will start to get through? Alternatively, stop using Facebook? I know, easier said than done but if it's causing you this much heartache it may be worth considering...

Ihavenobrain Sun 04-Jan-15 00:56:10

Bless you. Horrible to be hurting like this.
It's not about them calling you something it is about your past bullying. You may need to revisit some of the thoughts and feelings re the bullying. Maybe start again?
I hope you get the advice you need. ��

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