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feeling so helpless(2 Posts)
we as a family really cherish christmas but this year i had a break down the beginning of dec but now i feel stable enough after chopping and changing my meds, problem is have a very anxious 7 yrs nearly 8 next tuesday, she hates school and is such a anxious daughter who is having alot of physical symtoms bad belly for 5 days been to docs twice gave her gavison but still not helping and this is making me so sad I dont know if i will be able to carry on like this, she hated her last school so have changed her to school she likes but not starting till 5th jan I want to just enjoy the time but cant seem to I am only the one going thru this
Hi L88. Sorry to hear about your situation. Without going in to details or pages and pages, I've walked your walk too.
We have so many challenges being Parents and a lot is expected of us, but you know we are learning all the time and it carries on even when they grow up, different needs but we are always their Mum.
I know that you know your DD best and I usually know now if she has a stomach pain through, virul, food, or Nerves etc. I say nerves because all of my kids have expressed anxiety through many ways including stomach pains and not wanting to go to school. Sometimes I'm able to glean from them, what is bothering them and sometimes I've asked for help from maybe another family member or someone in school who they have a connection with, say fave teacher or dinner lady, or one of their friends. Sometimes when talking to other parents at school you can get info on what might be happening in school that upsets her maybe?
Our own situation can also be picked up by them and even when they are young they can feel our anxiety and worry about us. I used to feel guilty about this but honestly this happens with lots of our children and providing we pick up on this we can manage their feelings, through talking with them about how they feel.
We don't have to share all of our anxiety with our kids and maybe we with-hold some of the detail but it's not failure to explain to our kids that sometimes, we can find things difficult and that there might be times when we need support.
I know from personal experience, just how much courage it take to put your hand up and ask for support, and even to recognise that we need help.
There are organisations and groups out there who can support us and you can go on web sites like contact a family who have a very useful website,
www.cafamily.org.uk/ locally you might have a Parent Partnership Group, who are part of your local authority and they can give you advice and support too.
This time of year is so stressful for many families and especially Mums, Dads, and Carers, and extended family who do most of the 'organising and running around' to make Christmas HAPPY for everyone. It's a tall order for most of us and I don't know how we all do it to be honest....... I feel like getting on the first easyjet flight out of Liverpool on Boxing day lol......
Join as many groups as you feel that you can manage online, and no matter what time of night there will always be someone out there, who is up and having similar anxieties that we are having.. I even talk to people in the US on Facebook at any time in the middle of the night owing to our time difference.
You don't have to be alone when there are others online, just waiting for someone to talk to. You obviously never give out any personal details and you can use a different name too like we do on here so you can be safe providing you dont disclose names or addresses etc.
Don't suffer in silence, hun, talk about things to whoever you can.
My daughter and myself are disabled and I do a lot of communicating with my daughter with visual things and even talking about emotions and how she is feeling we use things like pictures and Makaton that uses pictures and symbols for communication. My DD does lots af drawing and even they show how she is feeling sometimes.
Good luck and try to get your feet up over Christmas and not stress too much. XX
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