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Midwife unsupportive

(11 Posts)
WorryWurta Mon 22-Dec-14 16:20:46

I just had a traumatic 28 week appt with the midwife, who is aware of my OCD. I was clearly pretty frickin distressed on arrival but she said if I didn't get my bloods done there and then I would be put down as refused. I said I was frightened and I would travel anywhere to get them done in the next couple of days but she insisted it was now or never. Then she refused to wash her hands again even though I explained I really needed her to as she'd touched unsterilized equipment, she kept talking about how many other people were waiting but in the time she argued with me she could have washed her bloomin hands again ffs. Especially as then somebody had to put pressure on the puncture, I sobbed all the while she took bloods and then she went to press on the wound with her unwashed hands and I was so scared DH got up, washed his hands and put pressure on the wound. I'm so scared to go back, she talked about getting 'help for the baby' when it comes which I guess means social services because she doesn't think I could change a nappy. Even though the whole appointment would have taken no extra time and minimal fuss if she'd appreciated my ocd and just washed her hands like I asked.

TheXxed Mon 22-Dec-14 16:32:11

I am so sorry this has happened to you wurta, I don't know your back story but have you had any contact with the peirnatal mental health team?

They are there to support you during your pregnancy and set up a care to continue supporting you once you have had the baby.

Quitelikely Mon 22-Dec-14 16:36:52

This midwife behaved terribly. Please report her. Do not accept this behaviour at all.

She is reporting you is she? She probably said that to stop you from reporting her!

windchimes23 Mon 22-Dec-14 16:44:47

I'm sure you'll be fine. If she only touched intact skin with her hands, there's no way that any germs could have gotten into your body. (Assuming she swabbed your arm with the alcohol swab).

She was mean to you, some midwives can be uncaring. Most are very nice, but you get the odd bad one. I've met a couple in my time.

Are you getting help for your OCD? It sounds as though it is debilitating right now. Virtual hug xx

uurrghhhhhh Mon 22-Dec-14 16:52:11

She sounds terrible. Your dh needs to stick up for you more! OCD or not!! You do not need to have any blood tests or midwife intervention- so bloody let her put you down as refused! I am very angry on your behalf.
I am terrified of needles and no one can ever get blood from me- i was having a glucose test and they had tried about 5 different places in my arms and finally said they would get someone who could do it from my hand ( where i find it easier and the blood tends to come!) The woman they found obviously thought she was the mutts nuts and jabbed me in the arm really hard, made me scream and then cry before finally taking it from my hand. Dh was very angry and said from now on he will male sure they only ever take it from my hand.
Your dh needs to stand up for you. If the midwife wont wash her hands again then just leave! I suggest you ask to change midwives- i did, its very easy to do.

WorryWurta Mon 22-Dec-14 16:54:39

Thanks guys, I just needed to vent �� im about to start being seem by the regular mental health team, we don't have perinatal up here. I just expected a little understanding and her to work with me rather than be hostile, I apologized a million times and I was explaining 'please wash your hands because it'll help me stay calm' but she had none of it. I'm scared to complain as she's the only midwife in the village

SilverStars Mon 22-Dec-14 19:26:43

You have the right to ring up the supervisor of midwives at your hospital and tell her what happened and what help you need from the midwife services. Might be worth asking to talk about the birth so staff dealing with you know what will help you and to reassure you. Or you could get the mental health team worker to help with that if you prefer and ask them?

purplemurple1 Mon 22-Dec-14 19:35:48

I'm also living in a village with one midwife, makes things harder doesn't it. if it's your first child I'd check how often you really need to see her and cut it to as infrequent as possible. Also be aware they can't make you consent to tests, (prob worth also reading up on birth procedures and consent). personally I always go to the hospital for bloods. (I've hard to find veins.)

WorryWurta Mon 22-Dec-14 20:44:44

I've decided I will complain to the supervisor. I won't be arsey about it but I think I have the right to have my mental health needs taken into account in how I'm treated. Good greif it was one extra hand wash. And I think the comment about getting help for the baby and me not being able to change a nappy is nonsense and just shows how ignorant she is of my condition. Which is ridiculous given that prenatal OCD is almost as common as prenatal depression.

windchimes23 Mon 22-Dec-14 21:31:10

Good on you Worry, you don't need to be treated like that. It was a hand wash ffs and OCD doesn't even come into it. She was rude to you and didn't wash her hands. She needs a stern talking too. Good luck smile

schmeegle Fri 02-Jan-15 11:01:12

Hi Worrywurta!

Just posting to say that I have gone through 2 pregnancies with severe prenatal OCD.

I know exactly how you feel and I wish I could give you a big hug and look after you myself because it is the most difficult, debilitating, isolating situation to be in.

The good news is you are 28 weeks now and in my experience the symptoms do improve ever so gradually as the weeks go by.

Feel free to pm me if you like.

I feel truly awful for you having to go through this and you have all my admiration for coping with it!

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