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Feeling so low

(7 Posts)
Mummyoftwobeautifulpoppets Sun 14-Dec-14 21:22:19

I normally post in relationships and had a recent thread about an unplanned pregnancy.

I'm a single mum with two lovely DC (hence the name!), have been seeing a lovely man but recently found out I'm pregnant..we've only been seeing each other three months.
So annoyed with myself for being irresponsible. Last two relationships were abusive and I promised myself I would create a stable happy normal home for DC. Have an appt on tues at the pregnancy clinic with a view to having a termination and just feel so so low.

I feel I have no other option though. I temporarily stopped taking my sertraline for anxiety/depression when I found out, just in case I continued with the pregnancy.

I don't know, I feel so lost. Part of this is that although this chap is lovely, it's early days and I think the prev relationships broke something in me. That's how I feel; lost and broken. I'd love a long term relationship, but I don't know how to love myself first. The pregnancy has made me hate myself even more.
I feel like a terrible mother today.

rockinrobintweet Sun 14-Dec-14 21:26:08

don't hate yourself. with your past it sounds like you want stability and security- inevitably a baby with someone you don't know would make that difficult. nobody has to know- and you don't hate to walk around with a badge saying you've had a termination.

before i had any dc i had a children i had a termination and it's something i am glad ive done. it's meant i got my degree and have children with somebody i love and intend to be with for a lifetime.

am here to chat if you need to speak x

Mummyoftwobeautifulpoppets Sun 14-Dec-14 21:34:18

Thanks so much rockinrobin, I know sometimes a termination is the right thing to do. I'm not looking forward to it, but I've accepted it.
It's the other underlying things that are making me feel so bad I think. So much guilt and shame from the previous relationships. The general 'broken' feeling. I've had counselling but it doesn't seem to touch it. Medication is also like a sticking plaster. There's nothing else to try is there? That's why I think I'm broken.

rockinrobintweet Mon 15-Dec-14 15:36:33

sorry OP had a busy day. read a book 'CBT' or cognitive behavioural therapy. it saves you doing the classes and gives you different outlooks on situations. xx

Mummyoftwobeautifulpoppets Mon 15-Dec-14 21:22:37

Thanks robin, will check it out! Feeling more positive today..the hormones, lack of sertraline and other stressful things are really messing my head up at the moment!

LuckyLuckyMe Mon 15-Dec-14 21:48:30

You have a lot going on it's no wonder you're feeling low.

You've made a decision that you feel is right for you and your DC.

You should feel proud of yourself that even when you are feeling so low and have had such a rough time that you are still putting your DC first and making rational decisions.

Do you have anyone in RL that can help you through this?

AskMeAnother Mon 15-Dec-14 21:49:40

sending you supportive thoughts thanks

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