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Best friend tried to kill herself

(40 Posts)
Worriedbff Sun 14-Dec-14 13:52:44

I've name changed for this thread as it's not really about me, more my friend. God I'm in bits and need advice!
Had a phone call from my best friends husband earlier saying she was missing from late Saturday evening, and had i heard from her. She left her house with nothing, only a body warmer. If it's relevant we live in 2 different parts of the uk.
I haven't spoken to her on the phone for a couple of weeks but we text a lot.
We both have young children who take up a lot of time. She also has an older child who has caused her a lot of worry.
Her older child has mental Heath issues and self harms. Has recently left home to live with a partner. My friend has struggled with how to best help her child, but I thought things were at least on an even keel for now.
Police and all locals searched and She was found this afternoon in a remote area and she had taken a lot of medication (hers and her child's) with a bottle of wine.
She is alive and in hospital. Her husband is going to phone me later.
What I need advice with is, what do I say to her? I thought we told each other everything and my heart aches for her that she did this. I'm hoping to get a flight tomorrow but I don't want to overwhelm her or anything. I just don't know what to do or say! Very unlike me.
I'm just so so worried for her and I don't know how to help. I didn't know she was struggling so much. And I'm so scared that she went there hoping to not be found until it was over!
My poor friend.

ocelot41 Sun 14-Dec-14 14:03:04

What a lovely, kind friend you are. I felt suicidal for a few months and those were such shameful thoughts I never felt I could tell anyone. So it is important you know that not realising how unhappy she was is not your fault.

As for what to say to her, how would you feel about calling The Samaritans and asking? They deal with a lot of people on the brink.

My guess is 'I love you' is a pretty good place to start.


Worriedbff Sun 14-Dec-14 14:19:08

Thank you so much. I would never have thought of Samaritans. I will call them when the kids are in bed. My husband is on his way home from working away so hopefully I can leave in the morning.
I love her like the sister I never had. I want to take all her pain away. She always says that I'm the strongest person she knows, but I think the same of her and it's floored me.
Thanks for replying and I hope you feel in a much better place nowadays x

Worriedbff Sun 14-Dec-14 16:31:28

I didn't know where else to post so adding to my thread. My friend is in danger still. Her airway is affected and there's a little responsiveness. If anyone reading this is religious or spiritual, please please pray for her. She is amazing and needs to know we all love her. My husband isn't back yet and my stomach is in knots.

ocelot41 Sun 14-Dec-14 16:42:46

Oh that's terrible, worried. You must be in bits. I have no faith, I am afraid. But I will keep checking my phone in case you need a hand to hold tonight..

Do you have anyone with you tonight?

Worriedbff Sun 14-Dec-14 16:46:55

My husband will be home in about half an hour ocelot. I think it's made worse that I'm so far away. Her poor husband is in bits. I don't want to text him right now so I'm venting here. Thanks for your support. I may need some more of it tonight.

ocelot41 Sun 14-Dec-14 16:48:46

I will stay logged in. But traffic on these boards is infrequent. Would you consider posting an AIBU and asking for a hand to hold?

ocelot41 Sun 14-Dec-14 16:52:04

I sorry I was away from such a serious thread without making sure you had other people to talk to. I am a bit poorly and fell asleep (just fluey cold). Didn't want to make you feel abandoned.

If you want someone to talk to until DH gets home, you could PM me your no and I could call? I have no expertise you know but could be a listening ear, just to get you through the next half hour? This must be such a gut-wrenching time for you.

SoonToBeSix Sun 14-Dec-14 16:59:55

Hi am so sorry worried, I have said a prayer for your friend- and you. Please try and stay strong flowers

Worriedbff Sun 14-Dec-14 20:07:20

Ocelot I'm ok please don't worry. Husband is home and providing big hugs. I was putting the kids to bed there. Well she is in ICU now and holding on. They managed to raise her temperature, but she's non responsive to sound or pain, so it's just a waiting game. She's so strong, she just needs to want to pull through. I really appreciate all your support and your prayers too soontobesix. I probably won't update until tomorrow when I know more. Hope you feel better soon ocelot.

ocelot41 Sun 14-Dec-14 20:14:19

Glad your DH is home with you now. What an unbelievably horrid wait. Will check when I wake tomorrow to see how you and your friend are. Big hugs.

QOD Sun 14-Dec-14 20:33:40

Oh I hope she is ok sad
Mental pain is so hard to deal with. Poor lady and poor you too x

Mouthfulofquiz Sun 14-Dec-14 20:51:36

thinking about you and your friend and her family x

MissMalonex2 Sun 14-Dec-14 22:28:10

Hi OP, praying for your friend and that she pulls through and gets the help she needs to get through this. It sounds like a very serious attempt on her part, poor lady. You must be very shocked, look after yourself too ��

NotMe33 Mon 15-Dec-14 08:19:54

Morning Worried. Just checking in. Did you get any sleep? How are you feeling? Any news from the hospital?

ocelot41 Mon 15-Dec-14 08:22:08

Hello worried , are you online ? Are you OK? How is your friend this morning?

Worriedbff Mon 15-Dec-14 10:43:44

Morning. Her husband text this morning that she's responded slightly by moving her hands and legs. Hoping that she wakes soon. Her brother flew over today and I'm not sure if I can go or not. I might be able to get the first flight and last flight back tomorro. Thanks for thinking of me. Will keep this thread updated as I know more. It really helps to be able to get my thoughts out.

FaithLoveandGrace Mon 15-Dec-14 10:46:21

Praying for your friend worried. Have you considered posting on the prayer thread? Everyone there is lovely and are more than happy to hand hold / pray for you all. Will check back when I can to see how things are. flowers

Worriedbff Mon 15-Dec-14 10:51:15

Thank you Faith I will come onto the prayer thread too.

ocelot41 Mon 15-Dec-14 11:58:38

Thanks so much for updating us. I will be thinking of you all today. So glad to hear friend is responding better - that's great

WorryWurta Mon 15-Dec-14 14:50:44

What a wonderful friend you are, I hope that your friend continues to make good progress. I was in this situation a couple of years ago with a friend who overdosed, I would just say to be there for her in whatever way you can be. Let her tell you what she needs. I used to just pop in and sit with my friend for an hour or so, take a sandwich, that kind of thing when she got back home. Be aware that once someone recovers anger towards them is a very natural reaction and make sure you have some support for yourself too, it can be very draining to spend time with someone so severely depressed.

ColouringInQueen Mon 15-Dec-14 14:56:57

Praying for you all worry. Take care of yourself too.

ocelot41 Mon 15-Dec-14 17:11:25

Just dropping by to say still thinking of you flowers

Worriedbff Tue 16-Dec-14 09:22:30

Thank you again for your support. This morning my friend is more responsive but very disorientated. All her scans have comeback clear so it's looking positive for now.

QOD Tue 16-Dec-14 16:00:15


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