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Not going out unless I need to.

(9 Posts)
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Sat 13-Dec-14 23:17:36

This month alone I have rejected a lot of invites to go out.

I make excuses like no childcare, when I have. Being unwell ( well it is true due to MH problems)

I just can't face it, I'm ok when going out with DH or to work but just can't bring myself to socialise.

This weekend has been the worst as its my birthday tomorrow, which I normally go out but said DH and I are going for a meal as we haven't seen each other a lot recently.

Is this normal.

Pancakeflipper Sun 14-Dec-14 00:58:01

It's pretty common but I would not consider it healthy.
It can be a sign of anxiety/panic attacks / depression.

Are you currently receiving medical help for any issues? Has your confidence taken a wobble?

One way is to start small, not be at a dinner dance situation but a quick visit to a cafe/bar etc and build up really gradually. Also build in time to relax at home.

Hope you are ok.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Sun 14-Dec-14 01:22:36

I'm on 100mg of sertraline and also have diazepam as and when needed.

Pancakeflipper Sun 14-Dec-14 01:38:06

Have you access to a team or doctor whom you can discuss this with?
It is common so don't start putting yourself down about it, feeling like a failure. It's also something fixable with help.
I think Christmas can bring this on as you are supposed to be happy cheery and it is busier out.

How's every thing else going in your life?

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Sun 14-Dec-14 02:57:22

Every thing else is improving. I am feeling a lot happier with in my self. I feel like I have more energy and my sex life is finally coming back.

I'm fine at home and in work I have a few wobbles, but are easy worked through.

WorryWurta Sun 14-Dec-14 11:38:35

What I would ask yourself is does it feel normal for you, are you quite content not going out but feel you should cos it's the done thong? There is an amazing book called 'Quiet' which is about being an introvert and how that can actually be totally normal. So I am an introvert, I don't thrive on big social gatherings. I like meeting a friend for coffee, going to the cinema, hanging out with the hubby. I rarely take up party invites as I hate large gatherings. For me this is normal and much more natural than in my younger days when I would force myself to socialise. Having said that if this isn't you, if you normally thrive on being around other people but depression or anxiety are holding you back then yes it could be something to seek help about. Totally depends on how you feel about it xx

JamesAndTheGiantBanana Sun 14-Dec-14 11:56:03

Wow, Wurta. With that single post I think you've just changed me! I've always felt like I was bad and wrong for not doing more, getting out more, being more social. Like my life wasn't enough because I'm not at parties, throwing parties, going out to concerts and gigs and places with crowds and braying drunk people. And now maybe I think that that might be my normal, not wrong exactly.

I don't like to go out more than I have to either, op. Mine's a combination of depression, being an introvert, and the fact that it takes bloody ages to get us all dressed and out the house every day for school and at weekends. I don't want to do that more than I have to! Plus I like my own company, I like being at home. I don't like having to speak to people, and having to make sure that I'm presentable. It's hard because I usually look like a frazzled sack of shit.

GlitzAndGigglesx Sun 14-Dec-14 12:07:44

When I was suffering with pnd I would stay in all the time. I wanted to go out but felt like everyone knew something was wrong even complete strangers on the street. I realised I was only getting worse by staying in so would go for walks in the evening when I knew many people wouldn't be out and about where I live and gradually started going out for social gatherings. I'm much more outgoing now despite being pregnant and think this is down to a new circle of friends. I find taking it slow helped rather than just rushing out

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Sun 14-Dec-14 13:42:31

Tbh after years and years of going out I much prefer to stay in and read a book.

I felt like I had to go out, there was a point where I used to dread Friday's as it meant meeting with the girls over too many bottles of wine and not being able to function Saturday.

I like being in with a big fluffy dressing gown my pj and slippers.

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