Going deaf has Isolated me

[Runnyhunny]

Not sure if posted in the right place but this is affecting my mental health. I have lost my hearing gradually and now lost 100% in one ear, 80% in the other. I wear hearing aids and have taught myself to lipread. I have found sign language impossible to master.

My problem is that because I speak perfectly, people simply don't believe I am deaf. I am becoming reclusive as am so fed up with not being able to talk to the person next to me anywhere. I need companionship but l am gradually avoiding life.

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

Would joining a deaf club help.

[Blanketontheground]

This a gradually happening to my sister and I can see how much it affects her. She isolates herself from other people. What she doesn't realise is that her friends are also trying to adjust and are doing thier best but don't understand. I think it would do her good to join a support group - has anyone suggested this to you? It's a huge change in your life. Don't underestimate the impact or be afraid to ask for support from your doctors.

[LostyTheSnowman]

It's awful isn't it RunnyHunny, I've gradually lost my hearing, I've got the most powerful HA's there are but it's not like glasses is it? You don't get 'proper' hearing back just a best approximation but with odd whistles or the battery dying or being in a pub and just not coping with any of it. I HATE it and no one understands. Fucking depressing indeed. I used to be so gregarious and love going out but it's hard now and isolating I want to hug people but I whistle into their ears and that's horrible.

[Runnyhunny]

Thank you all so much. I have tried a deaf club but tbh deafness was really the only thing I had in common with them and there's more to me than that. Blanketontheground i have not heard of support groups for deaf people.

I used to be a positive person. I hate it when I tell someone I'm deaf and they just act embarrassed saying it's their fault for mumbling. Sorry you are in same position Losty. It really is life limiting and u guess I'm only just coming to terms with the impact.

[Runnyhunny]

Typo- I guess not you guess

[Blanketontheground]

I don't have hearing problems but I hate loud places. Please don't think that people judge or avoid you. I'm happy for a hug with a whistle in the ear. You sound lovely and all most people want is lovely people in their lives xx

[Runnyhunny]

Blanketontheground xxx

[purpleme12]

Gosh I really feel for you I am only very slightly deaf and find it affects me so I can definitely imagine how hard it is for you. I'm not sure what else to suggest other than what people above have said. I hope things gget better for you

[AWholeLottaNosy]

Oh that's such a big life change to cope with, I can understand why you are feeling isolated. A few years ago I had a severe inner ear infection and went almost dead for a few weeks. It was very tiring trying to listen to people and if I was in a loud cafe or a pub it was impossible. If someone said something behind me I couldn't hear them and people seemed to find the whole thing funny. I just wanted to withdraw into myself as communication was so difficult. Of course you are so much more than your disability, there's no reason why you would have anything in common with other deaf people. I hope there are other people with some good ideas or sources of support for you. My heart goes out to you. But just remember you're not alone.

[AWholeLottaNosy]

• deaf not dead!

[Runnyhunny]

AWholeLot and Purple thank you so much. Ironically dh and I went to a party last night where the music was so loud NO ONE could hear but as I lipread a little, I was ok! I guess I also have a lot to be thankful for in my life so thank you for listening to me and making me feel better x

[Blanketontheground]

I found once we started talking about it more it became the norm in our family. For instance if I'm going for a meal with my sister we can't go anywhere with an open kitchen (too loud) or hard surfaces (too much echo). If I find a new restaurant that's quiet I recommend it to her. We tried learning sign language but couldn't pick it up. We also communicate a lot by text - something I'd not really thought about before. I know it's hard but please try to adapt and accept that things are different for you. Don't hide it either. My sisters employer has been great when she told them. They got her a special phone and quietly keep a chair free at the front of the room for her in meetings and presentations.

[Blanketontheground]

He he awholelotofnoisy love your spelling mistake. Makes your post read v differently!!!