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Struggling! Really really struggling!

(10 Posts)
FruitCakey Sat 29-Nov-14 20:09:55

I will try to keep this short but also not drip feed.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression almost 10 years ago. Since I was 20, I have been taking 20mg Fluoxetine on and off! I am now 24. I was consistently offered antidepressants from 15, but refused them until I couldn't anymore. They have helped no end! Every time I have come off them, 6 weeks later, the mood swings and anger starts again.

I am currently coming off them again, it has been roughly 5-6 weeks. My mood swings, anger and sadness is back again. I have felt that the fluoxetine haven't been as effective this time round. I had been taking them from April/May time. I just feel lost. My anger is killing me off. My DH and I are bickering and I shout really loud at him if he throws at me that I need to 'get' back on my tablets or if he snaps at me over something, I retaliate at such an emotional level. I massively over react.

My main issue though is how much I am shouting around DS (he's only 6) or I snap at him very quickly. I hate myself for it. hate hate hate

Anyone got any advice? I have done councilling, it didn't work. My AD aren't as effective anymore and I haven't taken them a while now anyway. I can't continue snapping at DH or more importantly, DS. I need to stop shouting but I struggle to control it. I am a lost cause! Why my family want me around I'll never know! I am totally fed up. sad

FruitCakey Sat 29-Nov-14 20:10:21

So sorry, that wasn't short at all.

RandomMess Sat 29-Nov-14 20:14:37

Did you see a counsellor or a psychotherapist?

Sounds like you need more than you had before in terms of therapy.

FruitCakey Sat 29-Nov-14 20:17:06

I saw a councillor, she was supposed to see me 6x times but she only saw me 3 times because she felt that I was in a good place and didn't need her... confused

RandomMess Sat 29-Nov-14 20:22:37

Well 6 weeks is nothing, let along 3. Please go to your GP and insist on a referral to your proper mental health services unit for a proper assessment.

moggiek Sat 29-Nov-14 20:29:27

Why are you coming off the medication?

FruitCakey Sat 29-Nov-14 20:40:06

I don't know! It sounds strange, but I just don't know. I still have some left, I think I may start them again tonight.

moggiek Sat 29-Nov-14 20:50:04

I think that's a good idea. Then make an appointment to discuss with the GP how effective you've found them this time. I've been on ADs consistently for 39 years. I'm a mother and grandma, along with being a successful professional, but this has only been possible because I take medication to deal with my mental illness, depression.

FruitCakey Sat 29-Nov-14 21:17:59

Thank you Moggie. smile

I do feel I might need a stronger dose. Perhaps even a different AD as I feel emotionless with these AD.

moggiek Sat 29-Nov-14 21:29:55

Yes, it can take a while to find the right ones. But I realised (long before you were born), that I have a condition that needs ongoing treatment, and I'm comfortable with that.

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