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Pnd twice but really would like third baby

(6 Posts)
Sunshineaftertherain Tue 18-Nov-14 13:02:21

Hi. I'm not a regular poster but definitely a regular lurker wink.

I'm currently in the throws of my usual depression relapse in the lead up to Christmas. I find coping with the financial pressures and pressure to be perfect really difficult.

I suffered severe pnd with ds1 (5) and not quite as bad with ds2 (15 months)but bad enough to be hospitalised. The thing I'm wondering is has anyone here done it a third time? I'm desperate for a third and I think that the prospect of not being able to because of depression is really pulling me down lower than usual.

I worry mostly what other people will think. People (family, friends, even my gp) have joked hat they'd leave the country if I had another. But this really affects me. Are they joking? Really?

Then there's financial implications. Most of my stress is caused by financial worry (even though we are in a better position than many). I become so stressed by debt and the feeling I'm not giving my children enough that it's driven me almost to suicide. I know that this is my illness but...

I suppose I just want to know if anyone did it a third time with mental health problems ( not just postnatally btw) I honestly feel so low when I think about never having just one more. But I'm scared of the implications and what people might think. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Kittykat7 Wed 19-Nov-14 05:31:00

I had Pnd 3 times. With my third I was under the care of a psychiatrist & I was on meds during the pregnancy & after the birth. I think for me not having any family support was a big factor. I have no parents & my in laws did nothing to help. Not getting enough sleep or rest made things worse. I live in another country now & I had my last 2 here. We managed to muddle through. DH took 3 months off work after my 2nd child or I would have had to be hospitalised. We also had financial worries too so that contributed. I would say speak to your Dr as there are meds you can take during & after pregnancy.

icklekid Wed 19-Nov-14 05:38:43

I've a friend who had awful pnd whose been helping me cope with ds1... she had 3 boys and pbd 3 times. I'd be more concerned if the extra child was going to cause you too much financial anxiety than pnd from your post...

Iwasinamandbunit Thu 20-Nov-14 08:56:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Phoenixfrights Thu 20-Nov-14 18:51:16

I have a similar history to yours, except I had it far worse with no 2. The GP advised me never to have more children and I have taken his advice on board. I think in your circumstances it would be a recipe for disaster. Sorry to be blunt. I do feel your pain. It's not a joke and they shouldn't be making light of it.

Sunshineaftertherain Thu 20-Nov-14 23:07:26

Thanks so much for your replies. I agree, I'm definitely not in the best place to be making life altering decisions! I have an appointment to see my gp next week because my most recent episode was quite scary to say the least.

I have just started a new job which will relieve some financial pressure but honestly this time of the year just does something to me. I always end up very very low.

Thanks so much for all of your advice. It's nice to know I'm not alone. smile

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