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How can I shake this feeling of failure?

(3 Posts)
plotmissinginaction Wed 12-Nov-14 14:23:09

Years ago, at college, I had an abusive relationship that left me wrecked for a long time. I had to drop out of my course and I feel I have been trying to make up for it ever since.

I have done countless other courses to plug the gap in my training. I have worked hard to try and shake this feeling that dropping out and that man left me with - that I am not good enough, that I am rubbish, worthless, a failure.

Last week I had an interview for my dream job. I worked all week towards it. Seven pages worth of interview notes, I couldn't have done more than I did and it wasn't enough. I got good feedback but I didn't get the job. I am so sad right now and all those ghosts are up and at it. That awful sense that I am basically never going to be good enough, that what that man saw in me that allowed him to do the things he did - that that is what I really am. Trash and no use for anything, a failure.

Obviously I know this way of thinking is not helping but how do I begin to unpick it? It feels deeply engrained, I don't even know where to start.

gakay Wed 12-Nov-14 22:47:58

plotmissinginacton I'm really sorry to hear how you are feeling. It is horrible to feel you are not good enough no matter how hard you try. Sometimes life can be unfair and people can also be very mean, which makes you feel bad about yourself when it's not your fault at all.

I think in a way how you are feeling unsure as to how to unpick what's going on in your mind is normal, when you have been through such difficult times. I hope you have found letting it out a bit like by writing this post helps, and would like to send you my best wishes.

I can't say I've been through the same thing, but I've found talking to someone helps. I've been seeing a therapist and she really helps me unpicking things when I feel stuck. Perhaps you can try?

hugs

plotmissinginaction Thu 13-Nov-14 07:29:57

Thank you for your kind words.

I do have a counsellor, she's off just now having a baby. I started to see her for general anxiety but she thought it was worth doing some trauma work with me but not until she is back from maternity as there wasn't really time before she was due. It will be a big wait but she is lovely so it's worth it. So I suppose I just need to make it through the next year in one piece and then I hope I can make some kind of peace with myself.

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