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Am I broken?

(6 Posts)
WadeInDeceasedPit Mon 10-Nov-14 14:32:28

I'm exhausted, constantly exhausted. I get up early so I can get housework done without DCs running around, then get them ready for the day. My DP is recovering from an accident and can't help with housework.

I'm tired all day. I work full time in a pretty stressful job. I can't switch off the endless list of tasks I haven't done which leads to me making mistakes and making things worse.

So, am I broken? Can I fix me? Or am I unfixable?

I'm very low, I need help. I would appreciate any advice or coping mechanisms anyone could share.

Thanks

LoveMyBoots Mon 10-Nov-14 14:48:50

I don't know much about mental health issues, but you don't sound broken to me, just overworked, very stressed and worn out.

I would suggest getting help - either family or paid for (a cleaner would stop you needing to get up so early).

As for the lists, write them down: keep a notebook with you and use it.

Write your to-do list the night before, plan meals, use internet grocery shopping. Sort the kids' bags & clothes out the night before.

Use to-do lists at work. And if you're struggling to prioritise, ask your boss for help.

Also find a little bit of time for yourself to recharge your batteries.

I hope you feel better soon. thanks

SilverStars Mon 10-Nov-14 15:16:55

You sound exhausted to me, not booked. A full time job, children, paetner needing caring for/not able to do house or child jobs and housework.

Sometimes that is life. A cleaner can help. Or just accepting doing the minimum sometimes. I find weekends I can do more of let dc watch TV, which I always said I would not do but life happens sometimes! Ad he loves cbeebies so a treat. Lists of what can/cannot be done helps - I hardly iron now, made meals easy by putting jacket pots in oven with a casserole etc

Hopefully as partner recovers some load will be taken off your shoulders. Any family that can take kids out for a few hours to help you catch up etc? Or friends?

WadeInDeceasedPit Mon 10-Nov-14 16:46:33

Thank you Boots. I don't want to talk to my boss about it. He's elusive, aloof and often flippant, and I just think the conversation would leave me feeling worse, not better. I try doing things the night before but that takes away the only quality I can get with my DP.

I am exhausted Stars (I like the way you type your 'f's btw). No friends or family. I've got no-one to turn to outside my DP's family. I feel very reliant on DP for my social interaction and she's not normally willing due to pain and discomfort.

Jackets or casserole need forward planning. I can't plan forward. I'm just fire-fighting. Constantly. At home and at work.

LastingLight Mon 10-Nov-14 17:22:24

Can DP do the forward planning? Work out a meal plan for the week - quick and easy meals preferably - and just give you a shopping list? So you don't have to think, you can just shop and cook whatever is on that day's menu. If you can cook for two days in one go, so much the better. It means the next night or the night after you can have the same meal again and all you have to do is heat it up.

I agree with the others re a cleaner, is that an option? Also, lower your standards. If you don't get round to folding the laundry, so what. There is nothing wrong with getting your clean undies straight from the laundry basket.

How supportive is DP's family? Can they take the DC's for a night so that you can get a break?

How old are your DC's? Is there anything they can usefully help with that you just haven't thought of letting them do yet?

SilverStars Mon 10-Nov-14 18:31:51

Can do do the planning as others have suggested? Menu plan and do online shop for you or are they too ill for that? I suggested jacket potatoes as just out potatoes in oven before go to work ( in foil?) with a casserole - I a, not. Great cook but can put meat, 2/3 veg ( can even buy casserole veg pre-cooked from supermarket online), a packet mix and water. Takes ten mins. Then set oven timer. Make enough for 2 days. Or do out oven on if capable? Sorry no not a great answer but I find if take care of few practicalities it feels better. We have no family here and would not ask people to help so when my dp had surgery and was ill last year it was so tough. I used some annual leave and found sorting meals out helped. Maybe give up quality time with parter one night out of 7 to do planning and maybe batch cook for freezer would help?

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