Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Imposter syndrome

(7 Posts)
DanaBarrett Fri 07-Nov-14 20:23:27

Hi all, I've lurked around this board quite a bit, I have PND and am on sertraline for this, but lately I've become increasingly aware of how inadequate I feel at work.

I'm quite a confident, forward person but in jobs, even when I was a student I was always backwards about coming forward. I now find myself sitting in rooms having meetings with people and I just want to sink into the background.

I'm petrified of saying the wrong thing. I feel like I know absolutely nothing and yet this stuff is bread and butter to me. I find it so hard to speak up, I feel underdressed and under qualified despite having survived in these environments for years.

I'm overweight (I am trying to lose weight smile) which doesn't help anything really lol. I just feel a complete mess. And yet I happily stand and talk to rooms full of students who ask if they have a chance of being employed by my company and tell them that if they're good enough to pass our rigorous interview process then of course we would take them on.

I feel like such a contradiction, and I just wondered if anyone else felt the same?

arseyfarcey Fri 07-Nov-14 20:32:04

I feel like this all the time. I'm a very well paid successful woman, and frankly feel like I'm faking it... Any day I'll be found out. I don't have any advice other than to think that many many other people probably feel the same... We're all faking it! grin

DanaBarrett Fri 07-Nov-14 20:39:08

I guess that's probably true shock in my heart of hearts I know it's not true, but I just can't seem shake the inadequacy of it all. Lol, I'm on my way back home having spent the night in Oxford, and I just feel so 'grim Northern'. It's ridiculous!

arseyfarcey Fri 07-Nov-14 20:44:25

I'm glad I'm a bit older now, faking it used to be going to night clubs and other shit you're supposed to enjoy in your twenties which I hated! I'm sure you not grim northern my love!

Asleeponasunbeam Fri 07-Nov-14 20:44:27

I feel like this a lot. Highly experienced and well qualified teacher. I've noticed it's worse when I'm tired or stressed. Sometimes I just feel like I'm pretending.

I feel the same about parenting sometimes too - DC are 5 and 2. I sometimes wonder why on earth I'm allowed to have them!

JulyKit Fri 07-Nov-14 20:59:48

'Imposter syndrome' (or 'complex' or whatever...) is something I think about quite a lot...
And I think about it in relation to what is sometimes called 'intersectionality'. (For which, see FWR boards, or Google 'check your privilege'.)

I know that 'imposter syndrome' is said to affect women a lot, and while I'm no psychologist, from what I can see, there's truth in that.

I wonder if 'imposter syndrome' is something that affects people who have an innate awareness of the privileges that they've had (however small those 'privileges' may be), but who - for whatever reason ( - 'kindness'? 'modesty'? conditioning, perhaps? - ) overlook other people's privileges or advantages, so conclude that their own skills or talents or good fortune are some sort of undeserved 'accident', whereas other people's good fortune is 'deserved'... Whereas, a less 'modest'/'kind'/'thoughtful' person would choose to see their own skills/talents/good fortune as a sort of 'birthright'?

I also think 'imposter syndrome' can be seen as an awareness of one's own vulnerability (whether or not that's greater or less than anyone else's vulnerability)...

Not much else to say. But yeah, imposter syndrome... I feel it too. wine

Mitchy1nge Fri 07-Nov-14 21:37:15

oh I thought this would be about misidentification disorders where people you know have been replaced by others although they still look the same, often because your usual emotional responses to them have altered therefore they must not be the same person

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now