Would you mind telling me what you feel? And why you got diagnosed?
I was reading about it yesterday and could identify with quite a lot of it, which scared me but also made me feel like maybe this could be the answer to why I feel so different.
I am anxious and prone to bouts of depression. I will feel very happy sometimes though. I can also be very irritable and get very angry over little things.
I think having a toddler has brought this out in me worse and I'm ashamed to say I feel this burning rage when he won't do something like nap, for example, which I know shouldn't make me so mad. Yesterday I threw him on the bed and smacked his leg when he was annoying me and tantarumming.
When I feel this anger I cannot stop it sometimes. It comes so quickly too.
Also I could relate to the lack of identity associated with BPD. I don't feel like I know who I am or what I like, I've never had a clear career path and flit from things very quickly.
From the little you've said I don't recognise BPD you should see your gp for a referral somewhere for assessment. It does sound however you're a little overwhelmed and maybe in need of some support. That hot rage you're experiencing can end up with a child being really hurt and is something that needs addressing now rather than after another incident.
There's no shame in seeking help and we'll done for recognising and wanting to understand and deal with it.
My GP suggested I might have it, so I ran with that diagnosis (I may have posted a thread here about 5 years ago on it!) until I started having suicidal thoughts and booked myself into the local psychiatric ward. Turns out that it was a combination of medication (Campix), a Narc mother and a Narc boyfriend who were both gaslighting me. What I'm saying is that it's very easy to identify with a great many conditions/illnesses, however a proper diagnosis could easily throw up something totally different.
It's easy to look at a lost of symptoms and match them together in your head to one glorious hole but like health issues don't Google and make your mind up. Use it as a light bulb that something might be going on and seek help to figure it out.