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Struggling to deal with dh's issues

(5 Posts)
MissPhonia Sat 01-Nov-14 16:01:06

Hi. Dh has problems with certain noises. We are pretty sure it's misophonia but he hasn't see anyone medical about it. Most of the time we get by okay with it and do things like have the radio on when we are eating, but some of his triggers are difficult to manage. At the moment his main one is me croaking when I speak. Previously it has been me swallowing and my joints cracking when I move. Things I find it very difficult not to do.

I'm really at my wits end and although I want to support him, I am finding the current situation unbearable. If I get a croak in my throat when talking to him he goes into a complete rage. The anger in his face is so horrible and even though I know he has no control over this, it makes me feel awful. This is happening at least a dozen times a day and I can't cope with the hostility. He thinks the answer is simple and that I should clear my throat every time I speak. But I can't remember to do this.

Most of the time he hides his anger from the dc, but not all the time. Please can anyone offer me any support?

Fairylea Sat 01-Nov-14 16:04:34

He actually sounds quite abusive. Sure he may have mental health issues but it's not fair for you to have to live like this either if he is being so aggressive and controlling towards you.

nappiesandnaptimes Sat 01-Nov-14 16:12:03

I have misophonia and it is an awful feeling. However, as with any feelings of anger it can be controlled. Would he react he same way if it was his boss making the noise? If not then he can control it. Has he considered CBT?

MissPhonia Sat 01-Nov-14 16:33:02

Thank you both for responding. He says that it is only me and his mum that trigger the reaction. He can cope with other people making the noises, he doesn't particularly like it, but it's not the same. I think I really need to get him to see someone about it.

nappiesandnaptimes Sat 01-Nov-14 17:16:16

A certain tone of my mum's voice used to be a real trigger for me! Definitely worth trying to get some CBT.

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