wombats way forward thead (could be triggering/upsetting or just piss people off!)

[Worryingwombat]

Hello
I am hiding in the mental health section as i caused a bit of an uproar (lets not go in to that) last week and I have a mental health problem

After my breakdown last week I was seen by my crisis team and now have contact numbers and a CPN due to bed shortage no admission was forthcoming and it was decided it would not be for the best anyway

Due to having to deal with past issues of child abuse and a part diagnosis of BPD it was decided I was in crisis and that home treatment would be best and that I have a responsibility to myself to keep myself safe not just the people around me.doing it for me

I do feel a bit better but feel like sometimes I have just put my face back on to cope that at anytime I could.slip and ruin it all

I have an amazing hubby and I dint want to disturb his studies and 3 fab kids aged 7 5 and 3 and I need to function for them

Today I did 2 weeks worth of ironing that had piled up and I feel emotional wreaked and lime I have climbed a mountain!!

Does anyone else feel so up and down and that they have to keep the show going for everyone or everyone would just collapse?? I feel the strain!!

So hello again a short post to catch up on me and a place I can.feel.safe and witter on

If I say anything triggering or upset please let me know.or report to mumsnet I.provided all my details.and medical details.to mumsnet to prove i was no troll as the troll hunting was getting hurtful and to be called out as speaking BS and been called vile was not plesent

But I will not hide from the forum that supported me and I will update as I can

Nice to meet u all xxxxxxxxxx

[Worryingwombat]

Also need to find where all my full stops are going!!

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Here add as needed!!

Sorry xx

[GlaceCherries]

Hey Wombat, really glad to hear from you following last week's crisis. Good to hear that you're getting some RL help, keep asking and taking it - it's the best way.

"Does anyone else feel so up and down and that they have to keep the show going for everyone or everyone would just collapse?? I feel the strain!!" Yes, me!! But sometimes you have to fake it to make it - I hate that cliché but unfortunately so true some times. Some times I feel my façade beginning to crumble, and I have to fight very hard inside to keep myself from breaking apart.

It's not easy, you know that. But I am sure that it is all worth it. You have family who care about you, whom you care about; me too. Take care ((hugs))

[Worryingwombat]

Glace - thank god to hear some has the same thoughts

I fee awful thinking it or when I relies I am.doing it

Hate these meds too diasapam and zopiclone to help me sleep I could sleep for a week x

[Worryingwombat]

Fake it to make it -l like that

Hope bits of fake become normal me over time x

[Worryingwombat]

So my DH is pissed off I am smoking again so am really

Anyone else have other ways to cope

He keeps saying the boys and him must not be enough for me if i feel down how can I get it through to him that they are everything I am just finding it hard that if I had a reason or solution I would be doing it!!!

[ScreamerMaanAndGoryOn]

Hi wombat. Glad you're getting some hell from the home treatment team.

Don't worry about posting stuff here that may upset people. There's a lot of folks out there that could do with learning to hide or ignore threads if they bother them that much.

My DH doesn't get it when I'm suicidal either. His stock response is that he can't understand why I'd do that to the children. It's not that logical though is it. It's the illness not logic that prevails in those moments.

[Worryingwombat]

Thanks screamer I too just find it so difficult to put in to words!!

Had bad nightmares last night even.on 7.5 of zopicole!! Hope.tonight will be better xxxx

[Worryingwombat]

Hello :)

Just an update that things are going ok I am on medication and looking forward to the future.

I have given myself a kick up the ass and joined slimming world too!

Go me :)

Finding my moods still up and down and trying to understand what everyone is saying about how I am processing trauma!? Yep my old tactic of pushing it away and not dealing with it will not work anymore!!

X

[lemisscared]

Glad to see you are ok. One day at a time is best. X