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Overwhealmed and frightened

(5 Posts)
Becca19962014 Thu 14-Aug-14 07:28:13

There's a huge amount going wrong in my life at the moment and I'm really frightened. My self harm has got bad again, I cannot face going to the hospital as the team are very very judgemental of anyone over teenage years who self harms (e.g comments like 'grow up') and I also worked there.

Last time I went, had attempted suicide, it was so horrendous I swore I would never go back. I haven't. But now the mental health team have decided I'm mentally fit and healthy and have no problems. When I went I was attention seeking, now I'm not I'm lying sad

A friend of mine, who has thankfully now gone (as in gone abroad for a month) accused me of being delusional and paranoid, we argued before she left first thing this morning. I'm not delusional or paranoid, I knew once my solicitor could no longer be involved and dropped my case for community care and support the mental health team, social services and landlord would turn on me and they have. Mental health and social services are telling me to contact each other (which was happening before), calling me a liar about my physical needs (as before, despite drs contacting them to say I do have physical needs) and my landlord has begun demanding I attend appointments about 'serious issues', without anyone with me, but refuse to tell me what they are.

My ESA stops soon because I wasn't sent a renewal form and cannot manage a telephone.

I can't hear properly anymore because I'm getting constant low level static, I've barely slept since Sunday and even the Samaritans didn't want to know - spoke to them for 10 minutes an hour ago.

I can't bear going through this again. I nearly died last time things were this bad, and they are, it gone behind chronically feeling low, and I spent weeks in hospital with staff complaining that I'd made another attempt, I can't bear going anywhere near the hospital or any hospital.

I feel like I'm losing it. I've a. GP appointment tommorow but it feels so far away. 24 hours is a huge amount of time when you don't sleep.

Can anyone here relate? Understand?

Iwasinamandbunit Thu 14-Aug-14 08:15:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Becca19962014 Thu 14-Aug-14 08:37:30

I've tried to get an appointment today with a GP but by the time I got through they had all gone sad

Thankyou for replying, I'm sorry you understand what it is like but I am grateful you posted you do because it means I'm not alone, I hope that makes sense. Services seem to vary an incredible amount. I wouldn't wish mine on anyone.

I did contact MIND the only MH charity in my area but they can only offer support to certain People due to funding restrictions. I also found when do got there the building wasn't accessible (I can't climb stairs).

The thing with the landlord though is they know here I live so I can't avoid them.

Becca19962014 Thu 14-Aug-14 08:38:15

Ffs. Of course the landlord knows where I live. Sorry that was a really stupid thing to write!

Becca19962014 Thu 14-Aug-14 18:41:35

I've tried to get some help and support today but just got referred in circles so I've given up. At least I tried.

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