support for my daughter

[anonmum]

Hi
Hoping for some advice on what to do next.

My daughter is 19 suffering from depression she self harms and frequently talks about suicide.

She does not leave the house often and does not socialise. She is currently refusing to take ads and is sceptical about cbt.

The assessment team have said just wait for cbt to come through.

Today we had to go out and it ended badly she will not walk or talk with me. I lost her at the station. When she arrived home she smashed a cup and broke her tablet and did some more self harm she is very angry with me.

What can I do to support and. Help her when she will not accept any help?

[anonmum]

Just wanted to add that cbt is at least 6 weeks away

[NanaNina]

Ah so sorry you and your daughter are suffering so much. How long has your DD been depressed and do you know the root cause of the depression? Did the ADs she was prescribed make her feel any better - if they didn't it might be because she stopped them too soon, or the dose wasn't right or it was the wrong AD for her, as they work differently on individual people as I'm sure you know. If they haven't helped that's maybe why she is not taking them, but that will make her worse of course.

You mention the assessment team - does she have someone from the CMHT visit her - has she been seen by a psychiatrist or just the GP. It isn't usual for someone with depression to be referred to a psychiatrist but possible.

Depression can make us angry and frustrated and your DD is probably angry at feeling so crap, and not angry at you, although that might be where she is directing her anger. Does she have any reason to be angry with you. It is not at all unusual for people with depression to talk about suicide (known as suicide ideation) though of course some people with severe depression do commit suicide. How bad is the SHing - and do you understand why she does it - it's usually to act as a sort of release when the anxiety builds to an intolerable level.

I don't think much of CBT to be honest. There are plenty of books on it on Amazon that your DD could look at while you are waiting.

Sorry I can't be of more help - but I know the torment of depression and so feel so much for anyone enduring this awful illness.

I think there's an organisation called "Young Minds" that might be better able to help a teenager.

[NanaNina]

I've just checked and it's youngminds.org.uk and there is a parental helpline as well. It is especially for young people so your DD might be willing to have a look at the website and take it from there.

[Selks]

CBT can be very effective for depression, I hope your daughter will give it a go.
You could check out if there are any befriending schemes in your area, or what age youth services go up to. Good luck.

[floramckitchen]

Hi anon

I am in the same position as you. I also have a 19 yo dd who suffers from depression, borderline personality disorder, eating disorder, self harming. She has no friends now and only really goes out once a week for her group therapy. I really sympathise with you as it is sooooooooo hard for the whole family.

My dd has been really bad since January 2013 with some improvements here and there but she always seems to deteriorate again. CBT did not work for her because she wasn't in the right frame of mind to properly engage with it. I think it had a detrimental effect really because she saw it as something else to fail at!

However, she has stuck with the group therapy which she tolerates because the other girls in the group all suffer with similar problems - so she feels understood iyswim. The CBT therapist just kept sending her to a and e every time she mentioned suicide so it really was bad timing all round.

My dd also used to have outbursts of anger and be fearful of going out but her anger has improved a lot lately.

Maybe enquire about group therapy for your dd ? If its on offer in your area.

Take care
Flo