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is this a nervous breakdown?

(6 Posts)
QuiteSo Sat 10-May-14 18:46:28

I've had a series a stressful events recently and I'm starting to feel I can't cope.

Two months ago my husband walked out on me and our two young kids. He'd been having an affair and doesn't want to be married any more. I'm finding life as a single parent tough as the kids are constantly fighting or shining and my parenting skills are at a low ebb.

I and the kids just moved house into what was to be our new family home. It's way too big for us and full oftt boxes of my husband's stuff that he'll probably never pick up.

To top it all off, I got made redundant last week. I'm not too sad about the actual job but it's just one more thing.

Oh, and did I mention I live abroad in my husband's country and have no relatives or close friends locally.

Every afternoon I've been crying and shaking.I can't look after my kids very well and I can't sleep without tranquillisers.

I've asked my estranged husband for help in the evenings with our children but he refused, saying he's busy and I am lazy.

LEMmingaround Sat 10-May-14 18:48:50

I don't think its a breakdown per se but you are having a terrible time. Can you come back to the uk

Twitterqueen Sat 10-May-14 18:54:57

No, not a nervous breakdown, just a terrible shitty horrible ghastly mega stressful time.

Give yourself permission to be scared, fucked off, fuming, shouty and anything else.

Don't rush into anything, seek legal advice immediately - even if you have to do it by internet to a solicitor in your home country.

Stay put. Make everything your husband's problem, not yours. If you can sell any of your H's stuff - do it.

Any bills you get - forward to him. You are disadvantaged in being in a different country so you are completely within your rights to just tell him to sort it out - whilst getting legal advice yourself and ensuring you and your DCs receive the proper financial support.

Good luck - you will get through it. We're all crap parents sometimes.

QuiteSo Sat 10-May-14 19:06:41

But how do I get through this? If it weren't for the loss of my husband I could cope with all the other stuff I think with his support.

Every morning I wake up in despair and thinking of killing myself.

I've got a divorce lawyer and she's OK but I don't actually want a divorce or to lose my small family.

When I occasionally see my husband the red mist descends and I shout horrible things and it's as if I've turned into a demon. Then I feel shit and want to die but I couldn't do that to my kids.

My parents are supportive but they're more of the stiff upper lip type, 'just get on with life' type which isn't very helpful.

AnandaTimeIn Sat 10-May-14 19:10:01

Oh sweetheart, you must be overwhelmed with it all. As a pp has said give yourself permission to grieve and the emotions that come up.
Your whole world has been turned upside down.
I, m so sorry your ex is being so nasty.

If you are thinking of moving back eventually it may help you to look at the Reunite website, they have info about specialist lawyers on there.

I, m a SP. You WILL come out of this o.k.! (and in my case, much better).

superstarheartbreaker Sun 11-May-14 07:56:45

He is an arsehole pp. You WILL get through this and be happy hes gone. Too busy to help...pah! Also id hes calling you lazy hes abusive..
Mabe anti drpressants and a councellor would help.

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