We rely on advertising to keep the lights on.

Please consider adding us to your whitelist.



Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

OCD Can anyone help me please?

(7 Posts)
gildedcage Mon 05-May-14 18:08:43

I had a thread recently on the relationships board, sorry I don't know how to link it, in short my husband was compulsively confessing. A very kind individual saw exactly what was going on a suggested OCD.

Everything has fitted with ROCD with things progressing to: I don't know if I love/have ever loved you, don't feel close to you...all followed up with of course I love you, I felt close to you again as soon as I confessed, writing lists of the things he loves/d about me to remind himself. He does hug and kiss me but doesn't want to have any sexual contact with me...and last time we did he seemed to be going through the motions.

I have found all of this incredibly hurtful and perhaps I haven't dealt with this in the best way. I've been angry and hurt again and again in this. I feel that he has acted badly and yet now plays the part of victim, and is now having counselling for OCD while I just have to get on with things.

I feel as though I can't take it anymore. I'm dropping balls every where at work to the point of considering just not going back...to give myself something less to worry about.

I feel like I'm doing everything, I have 3 little children and I have a professional job, I'm doing everything at home and feel like his therapist...but I can't speak to anyone. I feel guilty because I can see this is destroying him...he is crying all the time, my 3yr old says daddy stop crying. If I could see an end to it I think I could cope but it feels like a massive black hole...can I ever hope to have my husband back. Should I ever expect him to want to be intimate with me again. Will he just wake up one morning and give in to these feelings...conclude he doesn't love me and leave.

I suppose I feel like I'm setting myself up for a lot more hurt here and I'm looking for some reassurance perhaps that these things do improve....or am I expecting too much??sad sad

gildedcage Mon 05-May-14 20:29:15

Has anyone been through this and out the other side?

Falconi Mon 05-May-14 20:32:04

What is OCD and ROCD?

gildedcage Mon 05-May-14 21:58:13

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder...Relationship type Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Sorry.

Falconi Mon 05-May-14 22:15:01

Oh. I don't know anything about ROCD...
Hope someone knowledgeable comes to talk to you.

grobagsforever Wed 07-May-14 11:27:10

My DP has intrusive thoughts, contamination based OCD it's horrible. No advice for you I'm afraid, but so much empathy. I have a three year old and am pregnant and wonder if life will ever be 'normal'.

bluebell345 Thu 08-May-14 18:57:22

sorry for what you have been going through.
as far as I see his counselling is not helping him, he needs better, stronger therapy, he needs to speak to his gp about it.
his getting better will take time and I don't know if OCD can be totally cured but he can learn to manage it with therapy.
till he gets better you need to hold on to something, something to help you keep strong.
you also can go to gp and ask some advice, there can be some help for people who live with people who have OCD.
if his feelings towards you is so complicated, changing every minute, you can both go to couple counselling.
it would be sad if you lose your job because of his ROCD.
I think grobagsforever -who posted- has a similar thread like yours. it can give you ideas.
I hope everything gets better soon. atm wish you all the strength.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now