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I have terrible low sef esteem issues.

(5 Posts)
NeedToChange01 Fri 04-Apr-14 14:29:57

I have texted a counsellor from the counselling directory.

I feel very lonely, have no family, one friend who I feel she feels superior to me, she has loads of her own issues too which makes that laughable as they're much worse than mine in ways.

I feel people never think I'm good at things or good enough for them or anything.

My moods are up and down depending on how others treat me and I hold on to their negativity for days at a time until I see them again but in between time I can feel ok about other areas of my life.

I'm hurt very daily and sensitive and I feel this fables others to use that as an excuse for their own horrible behaviour/comments. Ie teacher at my child's school.

I'm just over 40 and have a disabled Daughter. I look after her well but I have been feeling very down lately and our house is disgusting but I am cleaning up today after this post.

I am single and I cannot orgasm by myself, never did during sex and I watch porn, albeit very rarely and I watch incest poon for a few minutes but it disgusts me. No idea why I choose that I was never sexually abused.

Father hated me, mother was cold and distant and always sided with Father, too frightened to upset him. Not seen my family for years. Sister was an utter bitch too.

I am very harsh on myself, isolated, lonely and am shitting myself about mixing with others as I feel others sense my vulnerability and use this against me the c nuts. Via comments, passive aggression and nasty behaviour.

The last relationship i had he used me and bides his time until another woman was ready to be with him. I demeaned myself so adly I have stayed away from men as i believe they aRe all cruel c unts.

People always blame me for their ehaviourwords because lately I react to them and then they declare they don't know where my comments came from. I'm reacting to them

Am I mental?

I hate this fear of life

NeedToChange01 Fri 04-Apr-14 14:42:44

sad

NeedToChange01 Fri 04-Apr-14 14:51:31

Last week my 'friend' was making passive aggressive comments about abortion, she knows I ha two in my twenties. I had not long revealed this. She was with her other friend and so I made passive aggressive ad direct negative comments to her and about her infront of this other frind. I do not know what came over me as I usually just roll over and take it on the outside but on the inside I seethe. We discussed this on the phone the other day and she was all innocent and genuinely had no idea where my comments came from. I remixed her and she said she had no idea it would upset me. She does not agree with abortion. Her comments were insensitive and I'm so mixed up now I can't even remember what they were.

I think I'm too honest with people, desperately trying to bond. This woman is generally limited of thinking and I gave her the benefit of the doubt by telling her things she now holds against me. I like to give people chance even though I suspect the are small minded generally.

She is not very self aware and I do not look for negatively but if it is there it is there!!!!!

NeedToChange01 Fri 04-Apr-14 15:00:30

Got apt with Counsellor next Friday, yes!! Feeling better

Thegoatprophecy Fri 04-Apr-14 20:32:40

Good luck I think counselling will help. Life is often very, very tough, I am amazed anyone copes to be honest. I keep getting kicked in the teeth and getting up but I am not surprised that others feel like giving up sometimes. Other people can be cruel, you need to force yourself to get out there and find some true friends. Does sound like some increased self esteem would help you cope though. Best wishes.

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