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ILs picking children up - anxiety

(5 Posts)
EverythingsDozy Fri 04-Apr-14 10:24:59

My husband left me for the OW on New Year's Eve. I've struggled with mental illness (depression) since the birth of our first DC who is now 3.5yo.
When my ILs come to pick the children up so they can see their dad I get really bad anxiety and I really need it to stop! They come every other Saturday morning and drop them off the next day at around bedtime. Around the Wednesday before they come, I start getting really bad anxiety, feeling sick, numb, panicky. I think it stems from the fact that his mum has been less than supportive of me since her son left (I caught him and OW in my bed so it's not even like he left amicably). She's been acting like her son is a martyr and he's the victim in this whole situation. She had stern words with me when I told her I wanted him to pay CM. I'm terrified that she will come over one day and just have a go at me. Also, I know she is going to turn around one day soon and tell me that she won't pick DC up any more and I will have to see my husband which I really don't want to. I don't want to cry any more, I've done enough of that since he left.
Can somebody help me get rid of this anxiety? I don't want to feel like this! I need ways of keeping myself calm before they come over. I also have a minor heart condition but I get chest pains when I'm anxious, I'm scared it will worsen. Please help!

Misfitless Fri 04-Apr-14 17:01:00

Oh EverythingDozy sad.

I can completely understand how you feel and it's just horrible. This is a long shot, but is there a chance that you could arrange for someone else to be there to answer the door?

I was thinking if you have a sister/mum/friend who they love who could step in for you for a few visits, and you could have an appointment that you needed to attend. Although, perhaps this wouldn't help in the long term....?

LovelyBath Fri 04-Apr-14 17:13:41

Hi I have a lady come to help me with anxiety and she's taught me some simple breathing exercises- to breathe in through the nose for six counts, hold for one, and then breathe out through the mouth for 4... hope this helps a little.

Maybe it would help to see your GP maybe they could support you?

rabbitsteeth Fri 04-Apr-14 17:21:24

First you should go to see your GP. Sounds like you have been through a lot. Maybe some counselling and support would help. In the meantime support from friend or relative seems a good idea.

Misfitless Fri 04-Apr-14 17:23:05

Also, maybe see the GP about your depression and anxiety if you haven't already xx

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