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finally may be able to persuade dp to go to dr will they take it seriously?

(7 Posts)
Slippysnow Mon 31-Mar-14 12:41:27

Hi all,
my dp has a serious gambling addiction which he has been battling for over 7 years, I don't really want to go too much in depth with right now. He is and has been depressed throughout his life but never sought help. he has told me how he wants to end his life to escape the addiction and 'free' me and our son. I am so out of my depth and all my attempts to support him fail, we have discussed going to the doctor to try to find some medication to treat the depression before tackling the addiction but he just doesn't think they will take him seriously.

He has semi agreed to go with me. I am terrified that if I take him they will just try to push counselling and tell him to go to GA meetings, I really feel he would benefit with some anti depressants, as he tried counselling and I think GA meetings may work once he has been lifted slightly.

I was wondering if there was anyone who has made the initial contact with a doctor regarding mental health that could tell me what to expect. So I can try to help prepare him and reassure him that progress can be made. Do you think I could discuss the situation with his doctor before hand so he could understand how serious this is?

slowcomputer Mon 31-Mar-14 16:24:53

They will take the depression seriously if he wants help.

There isn't much a GP can do for gambling apart from recommend GA - there are no NHS specialist services available.

apermanentheadache Mon 31-Mar-14 16:40:00

I think discussing it beforehand with the doctor is a really good idea. Obviously they won't be able to talk to you directly about your husband's condition but they will at least have it on file that you are really concerned. I think you've got to stress that he is suicidal - the GP is very unlikely to prescribe only talking therapies in that case I would think You could mention he's already tried counselling and it didn't work.

Hope it goes well - it sounds hard for you both.

NanaNina Mon 31-Mar-14 17:38:25

I think it's a good idea to see the GP initially to see if the depression can ease off enough for him to get some motivation to change. When we are really depressed we have no motivation for anything. I think you should go together and book a double appointment so you have time to tell the GP about the addiction and depression. Alternatively you could write some brief background details and give it to the GP (often this works well because in a busy GP surgery, there is only 10 mins allowed for each patient) and this could be the starting point for the consultation.

I don't think there will be a problem at all about the GP prescribing ADs and suicidal thoughts are a very common symptom of depression, so you won't be telling the GP anything he/she hasn't heard hundreds of times before. ADs aren't magic bullets and sometimes it takes 2/3 weeks for the meds to kick on and you can feel the side effects before the benefits and then there are fluctuations when people think the meds have "stopped working" but it's the nature of depression.

You have done well to stick by your man for 7 years and I know that gambling is a particularly difficult addiction to crack. I was watching a TV programme the other night about a bloke who was a very high flyer in the "City" and had a very good lifestyle. He started to work from home because of the commute and thought he'd have a "flutter" and one thing led to another and he gambled about three quarters of a million pounds (£100,000 belonged to his wife after she sold a business and gave it to him to invest.............)

Hope you and your DH get the help and support you need.

SilverStars Mon 31-Mar-14 18:09:54

I would definitely make it clear that you want medication. Some people do not and want counselling so it is worth being very specific, have tried counselling and now want the next step which is medication. Then other options can be pursued as you say. For some people counselling has little benefit if so low.

MaxineQuordlepleen Mon 31-Mar-14 20:49:02

Where are you? There is a gambling clinic but sorry, not much idea about how it works.

Hope things get better for you all soon.

Slippysnow Tue 01-Apr-14 10:06:51

Hi. Thanks for your supportive replies I gave the surgery a call and they told me they have no appointments for a week! I said it was important regarding my partners mh and she said she'd get the doctor to give me a call straight away over half hour ago.

This is what I was worried about, I thought I was making progress but it already looks like it will be hard to get things moving.
I'm looking into that clinic as I'm in London so local - it doesn't state whether it's residential or not though, presuming it isn't

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