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Please help- counselling :(

(10 Posts)
Cuxibamba Thu 20-Mar-14 18:38:22

I'm really, really scared of going to counselling sad I have GAD and depression, and it's like a pit of fear in me. When I was a teen I was scared of school, panic attacks, crying over it, refusal etc; and I feel the same fear now. On session 15 and ifs got worse and worse.

My next one is tonight at 7 (it's nearly 1:40pm where I am) and I am already really on edge and it's all building up.

Any advice?

newgirl Thu 20-Mar-14 18:40:55

I came out of mine feeling hugely relieved - I hope you do too x

Yuppers Thu 20-Mar-14 18:45:01

Tell the counsellor you are afraid is my advice. Tell her how panicked you feel, all of it. She/ he is there to help you.

I am 2 years in and still get a stomach upset on therapy day. It's never going to be something you are excited about I wouldn't have thought?

How are you feeling about the counsellor? Is it the right fit? It can take quite a while to feel comfortable with someone to talk about such difficult things, but it's worth it in the end.

Thinking of you.

Cuxibamba Thu 20-Mar-14 18:46:03

It's just my anxiety (and therefore depression) seems to have got worse since going in, but it's helped too in that I can now analyse my feelings better but my anxiety in general has increase. For about the last month, my anxiety about counselling is pretty much as large/serious as going to work or socialising and so on. I spent the last few days leading up to it in worry, then after it's over, I start worrying about next week. It

Cuxibamba Thu 20-Mar-14 18:48:36

I don't know about the right fit. She can sometimes make me feel comfortable, but other times like when we used the worry tree thing and so on it doesn't feel like we connect or anything. Also, I analyse pretty much anything I've said to her or acted, worry about what I'm looking like and so on just as much as I do when meeting friends, going to work or meeting people for the first time (those three are the events I'm most anxious about).

Cuxibamba Thu 20-Mar-14 18:49:13

I will talk to her but I feel very blush I think maybe I'll write it down so I don't bottle at the last minute...

yegodsandlittlefishes Thu 20-Mar-14 18:55:38

Counselling is like that, especially with the first year or two. Recently I found myself very stressed, anxious, depressed on and off and then I recognised something about my thinking/behaviour which took me back to the work I had done in counselling over a decade ago. It has come back to me each time I have been at a low point and has really helped get me through this week. All that hard work and upheaval was worth it for that alone.

Cuxibamba Fri 21-Mar-14 03:31:35

Sorry, just had to come back to say, it was actually great smile I feel a lot more relaxed. I was very anxious going to it, it's the point before having a panic attack iyswim, but not quite there, heightened most in the car, so I ended up pulling over as I couldn't concentrate, and walking.

Counsellor noticed I was anxious and we avoided the topic I was most worried about talking of and she mentioned about maybe having a new counsellor if I want, as a last resort.

For the next session, we're trying me writing down a topic to focus on, and if I can't think of something to talk about then, then something I'd like to try/practice, like going over some sleep techniques and so on, to bring to each session, and if I want to avoid talking about a topic but want to tell her/inform her of it at the same time, then writing it down and giving it to her at some point in the session or even the end. I'm feeling a lot more in control and safer, almost?

Thanks, btw!

yegodsandlittlefishes Fri 21-Mar-14 06:48:12

Haha, I am lucky to have found some local counselling I can walk to, and let my mind wander, then get home and mentally 'put my big girl pants on' with a cup of tea and try not to give myself a hard time for another week.

I do like your last paragraph idea. Yes, I remember making long lists of those things I was avoiding. I was amazed how much there was, it was overwhelming. Now in counselling if I catch something I'm avoiding I hone in on it with gusto, and try to deal with it.

yegodsandlittlefishes Fri 21-Mar-14 07:06:46

Sorry I meant 'haha that sounds familiar, done that lots.'

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