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Does anyone else feel guilty taking time for themselves?

(7 Posts)
Katkins1 Sun 09-Mar-14 00:52:20

Just that really. Does anyone else feel guilty for taking a couple of hours occasionally to do something- counselling, exercise, hairdressers or whatever else? I never used to feel like that before I was depressed, used to just do the thing that I wanted, then come back to my uni work feeling refreshed and glad that I'd taken the time off.

Now, my days are just drop DD off, work, pick her up, bath, bed and more work in between. I finish in 8 weeks (at last), so the pressure is immense. I do feel really bad for even thinking about taking time off now, although 2 months is an incredibly long time to get my assignments and everything done, considering that we have an Easter holiday to write and everything without lectures, then hand in presentations/ first week of May. Just wondering how other people feel about taking time for themselves, really.

LastingLight Sun 09-Mar-14 06:58:53

Katkins I have a husband and dd, a job, and I'm a parttime student. It's tough, especially at times when you are working like mad to complete assignments or studying for exams. At those times, yes I feel guilty if I do anything else for myself as I should be giving attention to my family. However... you need some downtime for yourself otherwise you won't be able to function in any of the important areas of your life. If you're running on empty you don't have anything to give, to your dd or your studies. Take some times for yourself, recharge your batteries, and hold onto the thought that once studies are finished you will have lots of time for dd.

Katkins1 Sun 09-Mar-14 10:45:12

That's good advice! I only have assignments- all due in May. In University terms, that's 7/8 weeks, and is actually, an incredibly long time. My dissertation is due in May 8th, and I've almost finished a tentative first draft; alongside having started the others. One is in my area for my MA, so I think I'll be OK there (I hope!). The other one requires fieldwork, which I've started, but I'm still so nervous about them all. I think the Easter break will be a huge time for me.

I just feel bad because I have something that requires me to be away from my work for 3 hours or so on Monday morning, then take my stuff to the library after, and I won't have finished all of my chapter I needed to for Tuesday. I've been ill this week with a migraine (was throwing up for 2 days) and it's put me behind. My tutor said not to worry too much, and I've made lots of interesting developments/progress/changes. Especially theory wise, and that's led me in to interesting directions. Only now I will need to get books out, re-read and change things. Which I know is all part of it, but I feel as though I should have finished by now!

I'm just worried because I've got 1,800 (ish) words left to write- overall, and I need to do more research on certain things, and clarify some theory. I did explain to her, and have new things to discuss in our supervision. I'm just feeling so, so guilty.

LastingLight Sun 09-Mar-14 11:06:06

It sounds as if you really enjoy your studies. What is your dissertation on? Don't waste mental energy on feeling guilty, you've got better things to do with it!

Katkins1 Sun 09-Mar-14 12:24:00

I really do, it's on a specific Dramatist and his links to the Holocaust, but in form and theory. It's due May 8th, and I'm so, so worried about it! So much work to do on it, and I don't know where my time is going.

Plus, kids don't just stop needing things like uniform etc. because you have to study, do they, so it's such a huge balancing act. I feel as though I've made progress, but I'm just not sure that it's not enough. And as for referencing... well... the less said. I've got one assignment due that I know NOTHING about (new subject for me), so was planning to work on that today (later- once other stuff is sorted). I'm just so aware of the deadlines, and how much we have to do in such a short space of time.

anchories Sun 09-Mar-14 14:07:46

Good grief, no. Take time off. It is an essential part of being a human being, a student and a mum.

Katkins1 Sun 09-Mar-14 15:29:19

Thanks for that. Thinking about it, some of the 'younger' students on my course are sort of 99% time off, 1% studying. Some of the others work p/t and I admire that. I don't think I could work as well!

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