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Feeling low

(16 Posts)
Sars123 Sat 08-Mar-14 22:36:23

I'm not sure where to start. I'm 26 yr old first time mum. So far I have loved it, not even minding getting up god knows how many times a night. But over the past week I have been feeling low. My husband works nights and then sleeps during the day so sometimes it feels more like I am a single parent who never gets a break. Also I am the first of all my friends to have a baby and although they are so happy for me I feel as though I'm not part of that group anymore. I have no regrets my son is everything to me but wanted to know if this was normal or if anyone else has experienced this and how you coped. I hope I don't sound as though I am just whinning, just feel I need a bit of reassurance

tulipsaredelicious Sat 08-Mar-14 23:24:28

Congratulations on your baby! You do sound as though you have a lot on your plate. How old is the baby?

Sars123 Sat 08-Mar-14 23:32:52

He is five months old now. Until now I have not felt low once. I really thought being a mother was perfect for me and I still do but I think as though I feel as though I have lost myself. Don't really feel like me anymore

tulipsaredelicious Sat 08-Mar-14 23:47:04

It sounds to me like you're doing everything atm. You can only keep that up for so long before your body starts telling you it needs a break. Better to deal with it now than in a year's time. It's good you've recognised it.

Have you chatted to your friends about how you're feeling? Also, do you have a social group of other young mothers. They can be a major life support. And can your husband take over on his day off? It sounds like you need to carve out some time for yourself, even if it's just to sleep.

tulipsaredelicious Sat 08-Mar-14 23:47:46

Just because you take time for yourself doesn't mean motherhood isn't perfect for you wink

Sars123 Sun 09-Mar-14 00:18:25

Tbh both of my closest friends moved abroad last year so that prob has a bit to do with it as well. I want to talk to them but I'm not sure how much they will be able to help. I go to a post natal group and swimming classes with josh(my son) and although I have met some lovely ppl they all have so many other friends with kids I'm not sure they have the same desire as I do for company. Maybe I will try some more groups and see if I have better luck and ask my husband for a me day one day a week and take up a hobby. Thank you for your comments. I was starting to feel as though I was being selfish and just feeling sorry for myself

tulipsaredelicious Mon 10-Mar-14 10:33:01

It's weird, isn't it - how we almost need permission sometimes to admit we need to put ourselves first for a change?

I hope you feel better soon.

NewMummee Mon 10-Mar-14 16:11:36

Where in the world are you from? I'm in london

Sars123 Mon 10-Mar-14 19:04:57

I live in cheshire

NewMummee Mon 10-Mar-14 21:29:31

Oh ok, I was going to suggest some places to go if local. You could try nct website for local meets, local church halls often do things, do you have childrens centres near you? Good luck

Sars123 Mon 10-Mar-14 21:55:29

Thanks newmummee yes I am going to try that.

NewMummee Mon 10-Mar-14 22:12:02

Also, I'm only 3 and a half months In to be a new mum so I hear what your saying and I understand. I find I have a few bad days every now and then and always feel better after getting out and about in the day, talking to someone or anyone!

Sars123 Mon 10-Mar-14 22:24:14

I have spoken to my hubby about getting a hobby of my own. I know what you mean. When you are at home all day with know one to chat with (as much as I like to chat to my son it can be hard work after a while when you are the only one chatting lol!) it's nice to have a real conversation. Maybe having a hobby will give me more to chat about too. Most of my friends don't have kids and I worry I bore them when I don't have a huge amount more to chat about. Plus a hobby would give me some me time.

Sars123 Mon 10-Mar-14 22:26:19

Can I also just say how nice it is to be able to come on here and be able to talk to people who know what it is like. Being a mum is amazing but it's hard work. Until you are a parent I'm not sure you can really understand. I know I didn't. Thank you

NewMummee Tue 11-Mar-14 09:15:04

That is so true! Sometimes I feel overwhelmed at all the new emotion I have. I have never done something so hard but so wonderful at same time, really is a new beginning. My friends have kids but all older and either forgot what it's like to have a baby or tell me what I eh

NewMummee Tue 11-Mar-14 09:16:15

Argh at stupid phone!
They tell me what they think I should do, I do think it's good to try talk to people with similar age children if poss too as you can compare stories etc.

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