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Have just been rejected by counselor

(6 Posts)
Zizio Thu 06-Mar-14 16:30:45

Have always felt rejected, struggle with social anxiet, confidence and low self esteem. It was today my second sessions with her and she told me that she is not getting much from me and is the one keep asking questions. She made suggestions for CBT which I have tried already, being active which I already do. I wanted to talk and unleash things deep inside me.

I have always struggled to put my points accross with 22 job interview rejections last year alone and many more other things

Why when I really desperately need help ? I walked away just sobbing and she showed me a private exit.

LastingLight Thu 06-Mar-14 16:40:52

That sounds terrible Zizio, so sorry that you had a bad experience with the person who should help you. Could you maybe write down what you want to say and give it to her to read? It's a lot less intimidating than trying to marshal your thoughts and be coherent when you're sitting in front of her.

SilverStars Thu 06-Mar-14 17:43:13

Sorry this happened. If she was a cbt counsellor then she would not work with general talking about deep things inside you, that is not how cbt works. If you went private then you can find someone who will work the way you want. If a counsellor does not work the way a client wants to work then there is little point them spending time with a patient.

SilverStars Thu 06-Mar-14 17:44:20

Sorry should say that when I have has NHS counselling they do 50 minutes and I have to leave on time however distressed I have been. That is how they work. A set time, set boundaries.

Zizio Thu 06-Mar-14 18:09:22

Yes she was an NHS counsellor

LongTimeLurking Fri 07-Mar-14 07:20:08

To be fair I think most counsellors work on fixed time sessions; often 50 mins or so.

It sounds like this woman did not have the skills you were looking for in a therapist. It sounds like she is trained in CBT techniques and not the deeper talking therapy you were after.

This is not a reflection on you but on her lack of skills and the one size fits all (CBT for all) approach the NHS has to mental health therapy.

Going private can be expensive (£60 a session). Have you tried looking for local charities that offer counselling either free or at a reduced rate. Perhaps contact your local MIND and see if they know of any services locally. Or go back to your GP and as for a referral to a psychotherapist.

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