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DH's stomach pain

(6 Posts)
ormirian Wed 05-Mar-14 15:14:10

DH has an ongoing stomach pain and lower back pain. Last year they thought it might be kidney stones and he was scanned. No kidney stones were found but there was a trace of blood in the urine. Since then he has had a frozen shoulder and had time off work for this. Once that started to get better the stomach pain has returned with a vengeance. He has blood tests, urine tests, ultrasound and a camera up his penis (yes really!) and nothing has shown up. He is totally fed up. He wants a reason.

But here's the thing. His father died at 52 of cancer that started in the colon. DH is 52 in May. He had a very unstable and uneasy relationship with his dad and it took him a long time to get over his death. He is also suffering massive stress at work - he was demoted to a HLTA from a teacher last year but despite the massive paycut he is still having a very stressful time and he is being constantly assessed for getting back his teaching status (which is unlikely as things stand). He had an affair in 2012 and we have both had a very up and down time trying to reconcile. He tends to swallow it all down and downplay his feelings.

I am not saying all his symptoms are stress-related but I strongly beleive there is a component of stress to their cause. I am a depressive and suffer from severe anxiety. Before I finally got diagnosed I had a few months of severe stomach cramps and generalised pain and malaise. It drove me mad to think that no-one took my 'illness' seriously. So I can see how it happens.

I have tentatively mentioned all the above to DH but he won't hear it. My GP was quite quick to suggest depression and anxiety but his hasn't mentioned it. He is back to the hospital soon for a colonoscopy. He is a very unhappy man at the moment and I don't know what i can or should do to help.

Any advice very welcome.

ormirian Thu 06-Mar-14 11:47:27

Anyone?

Twintery Thu 06-Mar-14 12:51:48

Personally I wouldnt be quick to dismiss this as depression and anxiety.

YOu might be best off posting this in the general health section.

It could for instance be adhesions if he has had any operations in the past, even if many years ago.

Frozen shoulder. I had this several years ago, and for me, it was like trying to heat up a large leg of lamb!
Does direct heat help his stomach and lower back?

ormirian Thu 06-Mar-14 13:40:34

Hi twintery

I am not dismissing it. I don;t think that stress and depression can be dismissed.

He won't try heat, he won't try ibuprofen. He won't counter the idea that the pain might be muscular in origin either. He takes the heavy-duty painkillers the doctor gives him inspite of with the constipation and other side-effects. It's as if he feels 100% sure that he is going to die of the same thing that killed his dad and until he gets that diagnosis he won't rest. Maybe the colonoscopy will help.

ormirian Thu 06-Mar-14 13:41:12

No ops at all. But will try reposting it. Thanks

Twintery Thu 06-Mar-14 16:08:39

Hope the colonoscopy helps.
Sounds like your DH will not be happy and be easier with himself until he is 53?

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