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Mental health

My abusive ex

10 replies

Suicidal5833 · 22/02/2014 10:47

He regularly beat me and he raped me but what hurts the most is the mental abuse he inflicted on me. I have a pychotic mental illness and he used it telling me things didn't happen when I'm sure they did. Saying I'd be nothing without him and that I needed him to keep me in line. He also used to pretend I was seeing things he didn't want me to see like when I caught him taking drugs he pretended afterwords that I was pychotic and seeing things. Now I'm so messed up I don't know what was real and what wasn't. He also denies raping me and said I had to be treated tough because of mental health problems. At the time I was in I un diagnosed but he knew I saw and heard things and he knew I was mentally ill but he told me instant tell anyone or they would lock me up.

If I wanted to go out he would play on my paranoia to make me do what he wanted saying that people were waiting to rape me and I mustn't go out and people would know I was I'll and lock me up.

That only he could take care of me and protect me and that he had to beat me in order to control my mental illness.

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Jemma1111 · 22/02/2014 10:53

How awful for you to go through this , have you been to the police to report him for what he's done to you ?

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Suicidal5833 · 22/02/2014 10:56

No I'm too scared to go to the police and I worry because since being raped by him every time I have pychosis I see and feel myself being raped id be ripped apart in court there is no way they would be able to prove he raped me.

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Jemma1111 · 22/02/2014 12:34

If you spoke to someone from rape crisis or wonens aid, they may be able to help you.

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Suicidal5833 · 22/02/2014 16:46

Thank you Jemma.

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Jemma1111 · 22/02/2014 20:29

I wish you all the best and please take some comfort from the fact you are free from him .

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Goldmandra · 22/02/2014 20:37

That sounds horrendous. Are you secure in the knowledge that you have walked away from this relationship?

What support are you able to access at the moment? Do you have someone you can talk all this through with in RL?